My Own Evil Genius

Well, if I am going to write about my youngest child, I feel very guilty for not writing about his siblings. Today, I think I will tell you about my incredibly brilliant middle child, Aiden. He is only six years old, but this child is an evil genius. He can conquer any skill that comes with letters or number, defeat any game on the X-Box in short order, and he can find new and inventive ways to get to the things he wants through locks, childproof gadgets and his terrified parents with the greatest of ease.

I knew he was going to be an exhausting child when he was less than a year old and barely walking. We had a set of shelves that we had built with small children in mind, so we could keep our DVD's and knick-knacks up high and safe. This ten-month-old child walked over to look at the shelves. Then he grabbed the thick blanket that we kept for when he wanted to recline with his bottle and balled it up to stand on it. That was not high enough, so he systematically stacked everything he could find. When that was not tall enough, and it wobbled too much, he emptied and flipped his toy box and stood on that. Mission accomplished.

I should have stopped him, but I was honestly fascinated to see if he could do it. After that, there was no stopping him. He is an extremely limber child, so climbing over the baby gate was no problem for him. I'll never forget smelling fire one morning. The hubby and I jumped out of bed, and since Mike was faster, he was the one who got to step into the mess that was on the floor since Aiden had removed his own diaper and left us a present before he turned on the stove burners and incinerated his sister's school library book. After the initial terror over how he could have been hurt, I could not stop laughing at the look on Mike's face as he had to bathe his feet and his son. (Guess who got to clean up the rest of the mess, though?)

This is also the little boy who loves his Spongebob cartoons. He has decided to call me Mr. Mommy (since Mr. Krabs says Mr. Squidward). I am frequently being told, "Alright, Mr. Mommy! Get back to work!" When he can be torn away from his cartoons and his video games, he is the one who will watch the music videos that I have on the Zune feature of our X-box 360. He deliberately chooses the ones that his brother, sister and I love, just to make us happy. Although he does love to pretend he is going to pick the ones that we don't want, he's just teasing us. I have loved to watch that side of him develop.

This is the same side that likes to tell me that he wants to watch Spongebob. I will tease him by naming some other show, like "My Name is Earl." Then there will be the exchange where he says, "Spongebob." I'll say, "My Name is Earl." We will do this back and forward for a while, then he will try to use reverse psychology on me. He will start saying, "My Name is Earl," and giggle with the laugh that proves that he is an evil genius.

There is the fact that he is also a dead shot with any kind of projectile-hurling weapon that he can find. Our Christmas theme was NERF dart guns, this year. We have sniper rifles, a crossbow, six-shooters, single-shot pistols, various clips that hold unholy amounts of darts, and more. Plus, when we run out of ammo, we have play swords for chasing each other through the house or trying to bat away the darts. However, it is extremely unusual for him to miss anything at which he is aiming. I find that a little frightening.

I am probably a sick and strange individual, but I am rather proud of this little world dominator in training. I also admire the heck out of him. He has life a little harder than my other two children. He is so intense and so determined to learn everything that he can. The things that he has to learn for his social skills are harder for him, but he treats it like it is a mountain that he has to climb, and he is succeeding. It is amazing to watch him analyze things and conquer them. I am just hoping that he remembers that he likes Mr. Mommy when the time comes for him to take over the world .