My Own Memories of Becoming a Mom

It all started on August 25th, 1995; I was realizing that my life was about to change. I had been predicting this day for a lifetime it seemed. I had been told that this day was when I was going to give birth to my first baby, who was to be a little girl. I was going to name her after her deceased namesake, my mother in law. This was going to be in honor of my husbands mother who was taken away from him at a very early age in his life.

I had been on some medication to induce my labor, and to make contractions more rapid and stronger. I had been in the hospital for two days now and I was getting pretty aggravated. I missed being at home and I absolutely was terrified but happy at the same time. I was feeling isolated and pinpointed in a way because everyone who mattered to me were going about there daily schedules, and giving me a phone call or two to see how I was, but I wanted them to stay there with me, and keep me company. I was envious.

I was never so shy as the first time I had a physical examine to determine if I was pregnant. I remember it as plainly as the nose on my face. I wish that I could have forgotten that, but then I would have forgotten what a joy it was to know that I was pregnant, huh? I would never wish that. I was so ecstatic to see the first ultrasound, the first heartbeat that I heard, it was marvelous. It was special. I felt like I had the best gift around, the gift to give a little somebody, life.

But on this August 25th, I was about to know, really know how much this little life would change me, how it would bring so much joy, and at the same time so much fear. I was about to have m baby, and I remember having my sister there, my mom, my dad, my brother, the preacher, my husband, and a few friends waiting in the waiting room, wondering when the little bundle would arrive. I was asking for my husband and my sister to be there at that "golden" moment. I held tightly to my sisters arms and hands, and felt my husbands support of my back. I finally gave birth and after it was said and done, I was so relieved, and I loved that outburst of vocal chords coming from the other side of the room, it was from my baby girl. She was crying and I had a sense of relief, because I knew she was alive and kicking.

After everyone made their appearance and I had time to hold her in my arms, alone, I cried. This little somebody, was mine, all mine. She had been talked to while she was growing inside me, she had been sung to, and preplanned for. I could not believe she was really here. I was now to care for her, love her, and give her the very best. To me there was no greater defining moment as a mother. Realizing that her well being was in my hands. That I had the power to make her a good life, or to give up, on her.

Knowing what my own mother must have experienced when first holding me and glancing at this helpless little person , I was in awe. I now knew something that I had been fortunate to have known, experience and see right before my own eyes. Who could not feel this way?

Being a mother since then has been my sole purpose, it seems. I make my life adapt around my children, and I do it, willingly. I do have my own life, but being engaged with my children, has been a goal of mine. I have been fortunate enough to stay at home and to be there for all the field trips, parties, and events in my children's life. This is one role of mine I am most proud.

God saw fit to give me my "beauties" (kids) and I will try to never take them for granted. I will also try and cherish this life with them. I hope to encourage all mothers out there to make the most of each moment you are given with the children you have. If you are not a mother yet, maybe you can see fit to become one and give this world some more wonderful gifts (children).