My Partner Cheated

Once a partner cheats, the partner on the other end feels so many emotions, many of which are felt all at once. This can be overwhelming and some do not know how to act. There are so many things to act upon, and yet you have no motivation to do so because you are devastated.

Be angry. Cry, scream rant, beat a pillow. It's important to get out how you are feeling in a way that is healthy and non-threatening to you or anyone else. Write down how you feel, how angry you are. Write out everything. Who cares if it makes sense? At this time, nothing makes sense, but you releasing your emotions is what matters right now.

Mope. It's ok to avoid your partner. However, it's important to talk to them if both parties are willing. Things have to be worked out eventually, you can't avoid it forever.

Talk about it. Set up a time, date and place where you will talk with your partner. Both sides must have ample time to talk about their emotions, their feelings and what happened. No one shall interrupt the other because both parties have to be heard. Don't scream, don't shout. You can disbelieve the other all you want, but screaming and shouting now won't help.

Make a decision. If you're partner wants to continue the relationship, you have a decision to make. Ok, so they cheated. However, you must take some things into consideration. Did they tell you about the act of infidelity or did someone else? Do they seem sincere about their misdeed or do you think they are just telling you what you want to hear at this point in time? You should know your partner better than anyone, so watch for signs of lying or other signs that may show that they may not be truthful. If you need a day or two to make your decision, let your partner know this. The more willing they are to give you time, the more likely they are to want to stay with you.

Building back the trust will take awhile. If you decide to stay with your partner, remember that trust will not come back over night. It will take time. Your partner should know this. They did something that has completely taken away all trust that you had for them. You are likely to nitpick everything they do at this time, this is ok, but try not to nag your partner. Are you worried that they are up to something again? First stop and think about it. How have they been treating you? Have they been trying to compromise with you? Are they sensitive to your needs? If they are, more than likely they are trying to work with you in a understanding manner.

Understand you may have to make compromises too. When you talked, did they point out a fault or two of yours that may have turned them in another direction? If so, remember you have some things to work on too. Try to make things better and ensure they are doing so as well.

Remember, cheating is never your fault. You are never to blame. Never blame yourself. You'll only feel bad which will send your self esteem plummeting.

Communicate. Make sure your partner understands how you feel, and take the time to understand how they feel as well. Communication is an important part of any healthy relationship. Don't only talk about the bad, talk about the good things too. If they did something you really enjoyed, tell them. Talk about everything.

Every case is different. Everyone is different. Take a deep breath, and think through everything. Irrational thinking is the enemy here. Deep down, you know when things are meant to be, and when they are not. If they are not, it is ok. Be upset as much as you want, but realize when it is time to move on.