My Personal Experience with the Baptist Church and Judgmental Christians

I was raised in a Christian home and I went to church from the time I was a baby up until I was 18 years old. I was saved at a young age and fully believe in God. My grandfather was a Brethren preacher but unfortunately, I never knew him because he died in his 20's when my father was only 5 years old. So my dad had to grow up very early, was strict, and very religious when my sister, brother and I were young.

The church that we went to was originally a Brethren church but somehow later became a Baptist church. I was only a toddler when the switch was made. My father continued to attend since he had already been a member for many years.

I don't know what you all know about the Baptist religion or beliefs, and I don't know if all Baptists are like this, but I have had two of the same experiences with two different Baptist churches. In a nutshell, what I was on the inside, no matter how good my heart was (is), was not important to the people in this church. Repeatedly, every Sunday my sister and I had to listen to ridicule from our Sunday School teacher (who was male) about how it was a "sin" that we wore makeup; it was a "sin" that we wore pants outside of church; it was a "sin" that we owned a television and a radio; it was a "sin" that we went to public school; it was a "sin" that we went to school dances. Basically, we were just doing everything wrong in the church's eyes. If our Sunday School teacher or preacher would see us outside of church in pants we knew that next Sunday we would receive a sermon on the "sins" of women dressing like men and that we were not obeying God's word. We were also taught in this church that a woman's place was in the home, it was a "sin" to work outside of the home regardless of the family's financial situation or if one was a single parent.

As a teenager, I was like most other teenagers and had quite a smart mouth. I would come right back and I would fully debate with this ignorant teacher every "sin" he claimed we were committing. It didn't do any good because our preacher was exactly the same and so were most of the church members. I know there was a lot of pressure put on my father and he was continually preached to because of the things I mentioned above. Never once was there mention of the repeated Sundays my sister and I would stand before the church, sing duets to praise God, and all of the other Christian things we did. Only what we wore or the events outside of church we participated in seemed to be important. This church was also very against divorce, having children out of wedlock so people in these situations were not allowed to become members. They viewed everything in black and white and we all know that in life there are many shades of gray.

I will never forget for as long as I live, and it happened over 20 years ago, but I can still feel the pain I felt for this man who was turned away from our church. There was an African-American drifter who was walking by the church one Sunday morning and he wanted to come in to worship with everyone. The preacher would not let him in because he was not dressed in a suit and tie. I remember standing there hearing that and my heart just broke for this man. My father and my cousin overheard the preacher, walked over to the man, and began talking with him. When we left church that day, we took him home, fed him dinner and showed him what a real Christian family was about.

Eventually this preacher was thrown out of the church. Mr. High and Mighty himself was caught having an affair with the church choir director. Here he was giving my family a hard time every week on what us children were doing and he, a married preacher with a family, was behaving like this?

Then we got a new preacher that I just loved. He was awesome! He had a great sense of humor, was a great Christian man, and was nothing like the old preacher. His wife worked outside of the home; his wife wore makeup and colored her hair; she also wore pants outside of church. He also had a television and radio in his home and I can still remember him telling the congregation this and he told them that if they didn't like it, then tough! He was a wonderful man and he did God's work without a judgmental bone in his body. Of course, the old members of the church did not like this preacher's "radical" ways and after only a few years he was gone. When this happened, my father pulled us all out of the church.

I have tried going to other churches since then but every time I walk into a church that same old feeling comes back. I start to close up and I feel as though I am being judged the minute I walk in. I also have other people close to me who feel it necessary to be judgmental - and they claim to be such great Christians. I was actually told by one of them that I probably wouldn't be sick and have the health problems I have if I went to church every Sunday. I feel that I am more of a Christian than she, or what others like her, will ever be. I know what I believe in my heart. I pray to God daily, I read my Bible, and God knows. That's what matters.

I have been torn apart by Christians because I am divorced and left a husband who drank a lot. I have also been torn apart by Christians because I lived with my current husband before we were married. I have watched my stepdaughter be torn apart by Christians because she works in a Christian daycare and has had two children out of wedlock. There was a fellow Christian employee who was trying to get her fired from her job because of this. All in the name of God? I don't think so. Even though these things may be sins, it is not our place to judge and only God has the right to do so. I know what I've done wrong and I have asked for forgiveness. But apparently that is not enough for some Christians. A close family member has also repeatedly talked about others saying that if they were Christians they wouldn't be divorced or participate in other behaviors that they do. My answer to her is always the same. People are human. Just because they sin doesn't mean that they aren't a Christian. I also have told her that it is a sin to judge others, and if she's going by her own standards, then she would not be a Christian either.