My Personal Experience with the "Don't Become a Drug Addict Diet"

When I was a kid I was terrified of drugs. One of my most vivid childhood fears was that of running into somebody who was actually under the influence of drugs. I pictured such an individual having bulging, ferocious eyes, a wickedly lolling tongue, and wearing a t-shirt that would read something like "I sacrifice children to Satan to pay for my drugs". If this sounds somewhat bizarre to you, just remember that I grew up in the 70's in a conservative family that wanted to scare me away from ever becoming an addict.

With my dread of all things addicting in mind, a comment I read in the newspaper by fitness guru (and now juice machine spokesman) Jack LaLane spurred me into embarking upon a diet that eliminated all processed sugars. LaLane's comment was (and I paraphrase) "The reason there are all these drug addicts today is because of sugar. Sugar dulls the brain and inhibits willpower and the ability to resist the allure of drugs."

That was all I needed to hear. As of that day, processed sugar was off the menu for me. Keep in mind I was about 10 years old when I embarked on this diet. I was surrounded by candy gobbling, Twinkie munching, soda guzzling peers who would regularly eat spoonfuls of white sugar until they were almost comatose.

This was the 70's remember, so anybody eating healthy was considered to be a communist, a hippie, or both, so the reaction to my no-sugar diet was predictably mixed. A great uncle of mine who was a doctor thought it was a good thing, while my father seemed to think it would somehow ruin my liver.

As the average beverage content of my family's refrigerator at any given time consisted of milk and sodas, I drank a lot of milk. When my mom made brownies or cinnamon rolls, I had a glass of milk. When cookies or candy was being handed out, I had a glass of milk. When my dad came home from Dunkin' Donuts with a dozen donuts, I had more milk.

I went on this manner, either amusing or disturbing those around me, for about a year. I probably was fairly healthy during this period compared to my friends, but over time I slowly came to the conclusion that eating the occasional candy bar or chewing bubble gum would not magically change me into a raving drug fiend.

So, on a summer day nearly a year after I had read the alarming opinion of Mr. LaLane, I rode my bike to a nearby convenience store and purchased some Sweet Tarts. Thus ended my no-sugar diet.