My Proudest Moment as a Mom

My daughter found her husband online. This statement still causes raised eyebrows and furtive looks. Nonetheless, it is true. They met through an online gaming forum, something that was unheard of a few short years ago. They are married now and I couldn't be prouder.

When Vicky called to tell me about Chris, a man she'd met playing World of Warcraft (WOW) online, I didn't think much of it. She'd made a number of friends this way in the past. His name came up from time to time but still there were no warning bells. During one phone call, she announced she was flying to New York to meet him. My heart stopped and the world fell away in silence. She kept talking but the voices in my head start fighting for control. Does she have any idea what risks she's taking? Does she know what he looks like? Is he even a HE? People say all kinds of things online. They hide behind the electronic curtain of Oz, pretending to be all manner of being. How can she take such a chance? Feeling proud had not yet come into play.

I didn't have to think about that last question for very long. All I need do is look in the mirror to know where her sense of romance and adventure came from but that is another story.

She went and they fell in love. She stayed a week and met his family as well. After returning to the Air Force base she was stationed at in Maryland, they quickly heated up satellite systems around the world by talking on cell phones, email and of course on their beloved WOW. A month later, he came to visit her for her 23rd birthday and never went home.

We went to stay with them for Thanksgiving and got to know Chris a little. He seemed a sweetie but it was too soon to know for sure if they had what it takes to make it work. A ring was offered, a question asked and a promise made. The wedding was scheduled for the following July. Vicky wanted to be married at our home in an outdoor ceremony. My heart began to swell with pride. My little girl was coming home to get married.

Her father and I divorced when she was two. She had maintained a relationship with him and his second family but it was often strained. Some sort of wild streak of stubbornness courses through her veins that I am at a loss to explain. She had decided for a number of reasons that she wished to walk down the aisle alone. Despite counsel from us against this idea, she informed her father of her decision. It blew up in her face.

He refused to attend or to let her siblings, who had been asked to be attendants, attend the wedding. She was devastated. She thought he would understand and be supportive, at least she hoped he would. Communication broke down and the matter threatened to destroy her day. A mother's heart is torn at such times between wanting to mend the wound and wanting to fight back in defense of her child. Tempted as I was to call him, I stayed out of it and let them choose their resolution.

She came home two weeks before the big day to help prepare everything. Chris came with her. Having them in the house for those two weeks was the ride of a lifetime. There was so much work to do and so many arrangements to make. We were still making table centerpieces until after midnight the eve of the wedding. Chris quickly became part of the family and we all became victims of his charms. None of us wanted to see them return home.

So many obstacles popped up, including losing our minister four days before the ceremony that I wondered if we would ever be able to put this wedding together. And over all of it hung the pall cast by her father's self-imposed absence. Tears would well in her eyes and I knew what she was thinking.

The day finally came, hot and humid as July can be. Describing how she looked sounds so clichéd but seeing her in that white dress was something I was unprepared for. It was more than the absolute beauty of a bride. I watched her walk to the site we had decorated for the wedding and it finally sank in. I was no longer watching my little girl. Where once a child stood full of need and reassurance, there now stood a woman, confident and self-assured, a woman I had helped come into being. Not someone who needed me but someone who had chosen me. This is someone who I would now forge a different relationship with, still a mother-daughter relationship but now friends as well.

I felt so many things in the next few minutes, hours and days. I made my way to my seat and waited for the music to announce her arrival. Everyone stood to watch her make her way through the grass, surrounded by flowers and trees and most of the people she loved. Chris stood waiting with a face that first revealed his nervousness, then his relief and tenderness as she stepped into the aisle and finally joy when he was able to kiss his bride. I knew she wished things had gone differently with her father but she found the strength to set aside the grief she carried and she glided down that aisle like a dove, all grace and poise. Her eyes never left her the man about to become her husband.

There are so many little firsts throughout a child's life that make a mom proud. For each of my children there are such moments. Every day brings a new opportunity to be proud of the people they are and are becoming. My daughter's wedding currently is one of my favorite and proudest moments as a mom.