My Psycho Ex-Girlfriend

It's Monday... I've been trying to break up with Tawnya, but it's just been so hard. I don't want to hurt her, but I can't stand her anymore; she's driving me up the walls. I care for her, but I can't stand her.

Last night, I finally got her to agree to us "taking a break." Alright, so today I've got the buffer up. Hopefully it won't hurt her nearly as bad when I break up with her. But when should I? Ah...I've got to do it today-I can't take any more of this.

We're getting ready to go to first hour...and she's kissed me. Great-she's not even taking this "break" seriously.

We're in the same second hour. I can tell she's sad. I wonder if she knows what I'm going to do. Uh, she must not-she's being perky now. Wasn't she just depressed a minute ago? Oh, okay, they're the depression...figures. Is she stable?

She walks up behind me and hugs me while I'm at my computer. "Can we not do this?" as she hands me a note. I don't respond. The note is, "I can't take this...let's call this off." Well, Tawnya. You may not be able to do this, but I can't do ANY of this.

She keeps writing me notes. I'll do it now. I'll write her a note though, that way she can't argue with me. Bell rings...crap, I'm not done.

She tries to grab the note. "No, I'm not done. I was busy with my schoolwork...which you should've been doing too." I try not to be too close.

Third hour passes by quick. "I'm almost free," I tell Zack (ZTF). "What?" "I'm breaking up with Tawnya today." "Oh, I wonder how THAT'S going to turn out." This note is burning calories-I'm trying so hard not to say anything in any way that will hurt her feelings. How can I be sure though? I need someone else to read it.

"Zack, read this and tell me if any part is hurtful or offensive." He snatches the letter. "Nope. That's the nicest break-up letter I've ever read." He grins.

He's a guy too. I need a female opinion. "Sami? You busy?" I called through the dividing curtain. I should've known since she was in the computer lab next to us and Word was open on her screen. "Never mind." "Hey, Ashley, could you do me a favor?..."

"It's good. That's really nice. It's still going to hurt her feelings though. At least you care about her."

Women are the experts. And guys...well. It passed ZTF's and Ashley's standards. At least it passed Ashley's standards.

I see my friend Julie in the hall. "Have you broken up with her yet?" My mind flashes back to prom from a week before when I told Julie that Tawnya wasn't my type and "I know!" was her response. "No, that's what this is." I told Julie, as I held up the letter. Her eyes widened. "So you're doing it today?" "Yeah." "You better!"

There's Tawnya, going to fourth hour. Hand it to her and run! Okay, don't run-she wants a hug. Crap. Okay, now go. Go go go go go!

I'm sitting in my fourth hour, Photography II. The door opens...why do I sense a bad aura? I turn my head...it's Tawnya!

"What the heck are you doing?" I speak up as the teacher is giving a demonstration. The teacher signals her to leave. "I got to talk to you." She whispers as she exits the room. Oh gawsh.

Teacher's done with the demonstration. It's probably okay to walk out now. Where is she? I start to head back in the classroom. There she is. Dang it...I was hoping I wouldn't find her.

"Steven, this hurts. Please no!" She rewords herself many times...she's basically repeating herself. I keep hugging her. Hugs always help me, maybe they'll help her. "I'm sorry." "Steven, give me another chance," she whines. "Second chances are always screw ups because the initial reason for the break-up isn't ever really resolved. Look at you and Taran...you guys lasted a lot shorter the second time than you did the first. No, we're not doing that. I'm not used to this kind of stress and drama that I always feel when you're around. I wasn't made like that." "I'll stop, I'll change," etc. etc. "Don't ever change yourself for someone else, Tawnya. This just won't work out though." I give her one last kiss because it's what she wants.

She leaves. *Relief*

...Fourth hour's over. As I'm going out to the main hall, there she is. Why is she still acting like we're dating? "Walk me to my fifth hour." I'm supposed to be going to lunch, but why not? I can take a detour. In the hallway she stops me. Same junk as before. I'm standing firm. She keeps telling me she was happy with me. I was becoming miserable with her though. She's begging me some more-what the heck? Who begs, seriously? When I tell her "no" firmly, she storms off and punches some metal piece on the wall and cracks it. "Tawnya!" I catch up to her and hug her.

She's going in her classroom-ah dang it, but she leans in to kiss me. I back up. "Sorry." She pouts and stomps in her classroom. Whatever, you psycho! I start to walk away. Her hand...I head back to her class and see her sitting down. I walk over and grab her wrist and turn her hand a little. No blood or scrapes. Okay good, I'll leave now..."My hand's probably broken now! It feels broken!" she tells me. Whatever, you ditz. I hope it is for punching that thing. Instead of saying anything I'm just going to walk out.

Lunch. Freedom from everybody. Well, not everybody-just Tawnya. I still have all those annoying people that think I'm just oh-so-cool and so they want to talk to me. I'm sorry-who are you guys? I smile and patronize them. Everybody seems to think they need everybody else's acceptance. I won't break their esteem. But I will continue to sit by myself. With as loud and outgoing as I can be, nobody understands me taking my time away to myself during lunch. But that's just it-I need time to myself. Tawnya doesn't understand either-she wants to hang out every day, all day, and if we don't, she wants me to call and be on the phone with her for hours or until I go to bed. Sorry, babe. I have a life. I have other things to do that I actually enjoy doing-writing stories, for instance.

Fifth hour. It's relaxing. I honestly didn't think that I'd feel this good today up until this point. Can I keep it like this please? Just kidding, I know it won't happen like that. Bell rings.

I'm on my way to my sixth hour perm pass class. There's Julie. "Freedom," I said. "I'm free from the annoyance." "You finally did it?!" Julie surprised. "Was it hard?" "Oh yeah...Heh. You know, she's probably still waiting in the middle hall for me trying to act like nothing happened. Julie smiles. "Where's your class at?" "Back there, but I'm going with you to see if she's there." "Aight."

We get there and no Tawnya. "Oh, guess I was wrong. See ya Julie." "Bye Steve." "Steven!!" Tawnya rounds the corner of the stairwell. Julie stops after taking only a step and turns around to grin at me. Tawnya tries to hug me but I'm stiff. Julie's fighting hard to mask her smile. Tawnya starts ranting about something. I wasn't paying attention. All I heard was Julie say, "I can fix this for you," in a normal speaking voice. Oh gawsh did Tawnya hear that? No, she didn't-she's still ranting. Okay good. "No, go. See ya-bye Julie." "Bye Steeeven." Tawnya turns to look at Julie like Julie just punched her. Oh gawsh, what would Julie have done if I said, "Yeah, fix it." One can only wonder...

Forget this. I'm not coming out of the classroom to see Tawnya...I'm going to the library. It's my study hall anyway. Hm...a good book on websites...and it happens to be for dummies, like me. Intriguing, yes...

On my way to seventh hour. Oh yeah, I need to go to my principals to talk to her. What?! There's Tawnya waiting for me outside the blue hall by my principals office. Okay, she knows I'm supposed to go down the blue hall for seventh hour, but I'll be glad to enter the office where she won't dare follow me.

She hands me a note which I read while I'm in the office, waiting to talk to the principal.

"I know where you live because my mom took you home once. I know people and my mom knows people. I'm not trying to scare you, just make you understand that it's not cool to hurt people's feelings."
...WHAT...THE...FUUU...

"I still love you, please don't leave."
...HOW CAN THESE TWO EVEN BE IN THE SAME NOTE?!?!

"You're just like every other guy..."
...Why? Because every other guy dumped you too? No kidding! However, I'm OFTEN told (even by you) that I'm a lot different than most guys. I don't even need to be told that to know that one!

"Maybe we can still work this out."
...Or maybe we CAN'T! No way in hell I'm going out with someone that threatens me for breaking up with her!!

This bitch is crazy.

I leave the office. My principal is still on the phone anyway. There's Tawnya walking in the main hall. "I'm just like every other guy, huh?!" as I walk up to her. I crumble it up and toss the note at her face. "Yeah, well fuck you, Tawnya! You're fucked up!"

I enter the office again.

It's time to leave the office-there's Tawnya! She's been walking down the blue hall all this time! I'll just tell my principal that my ex-girlfriend's going to keep bugging me if she sees me in the hall-after all, she's skipping. "Oh, so you want me to be your bodyguard?" I smile and laugh at her.

We head down the blue hall and as soon as Tawnya opens her mouth to talk to me, "What? What's wrong?" my principal asks. "Nothing." Tawnya keeps walking past us. "Yes, thank you!" "Alright, see ya." She heads off.

I enter my seventh hour. No one's here. Oh yeah, they're putting the trebuchet up outside that they've been working on for days. What a hassle. Oh well, they want to do it-I'll go join them outside. I turn around-Tawnya's entered my seventh hour class! I thought she was gone! I don't say anything to her as she keeps telling me, "We need to talk," except for, "No, we don't." She's standing in the way of the door and won't budge when I try to get past. I don't want to use force; she's so frail and I would hurt her. I head towards the back side of the room and open the window. We're in the basement floor of the school, so I jump out the window, which is about waist high, and close it. I head toward the middle doors to cut back through the blue hall over to the side my class is at.

Open one set of doors. Open two sets of...doors. Tawnya was trying to hold the doors to keep me from coming in...what a freak. She stands up. "No, you're not going past here until we talk." "Tawnya I need to get to class, move." "Not until we talk." I put my arm under her elbow and push up, then to the side, manipulating her joint and getting her out of the way. I keep walking forward. "Ow! That hurt!" She punches me in the back as I walk across the hall and out the doors.

Tre-bu-chet...I didn't think I'd be so happy to see you. If it weren't for Tawnya, I wouldn't have. We're outside messing with the trebuchet...and Tawnya's friends call outside, "Steven, Tawnya wants to know if you want your stuff back!" "What the hell are you guys doing here? Go away. Go back inside!" My teacher walks to the doors and says, "I'm sorry, ladies, but you're going to need to go back to class."

Finally solved? No. After the seventh hour bell rings and Laura and I are cleaning up the paper scraps from the letters that will go on the trebuchet, Tawnya walks out and puts a note in my lap and walks off. It reads "I'm sorry, I love you, let's try to work this out."

HA! To hell with that, psycho girl!