My Seven Favorite Ways to Waste Time on the Internet

I am always on the lookout for new ways to challenge my intellect and increase my knowledge. Other people may spend their free-time doing word puzzles, learning historical trivia, or doing community service, but I prefer to spend my time on more important endeavors -- like learning how to play with a pet rock (http://www.ehow.com/how_2049273_play-pet-rock.html).

When you talk of wasting time online, the obvious sites that people think of are Facebook and YouTube; however, Facebook and YouTube don't count because time spent on them could never be considered "wasted." These sites are a part of natural, everyday life, and as such do not warrant mention in this article about time-wasters. This article is for those sites that although you wish you could enjoy them every day, more important things (like Facebook and YouTube) usually come up and prevent you from doing so.

I love all these sites equally, so I have put this list in order from "Reading Required" to "Absolutely No Reading Required." This way you can choose how to waste your time based on how much effort you want to put into it.

1.) The Onion

I've been reading The Onion since its inception because I like fake news better than real news. Real news is depressing, whereas when fake news is depressing it's funny. The best kind of fake news is the kind where you sometimes wonder as you're reading it, "Is this real or fake?" That's when you know you're reading quality stuff. Be warned that there are tons of articles and lots of reading to do, so you should save this time-waster for when family comes over or if you have a term paper due.

http://www.theonion.com/content/index

2.) The Superficial

This site had me hooked as soon as I saw its tagline: "Because You're Ugly." I mean, truly -- how can you not love a site that has that for a tagline? Some people get their celebrity news from People magazine or People online, but I prefer my celebrity news a little more raw. I cannot even begin to tell you how many hours of my life I have wasted on this site. It's time I will never be able to get back, and yet this knowledge does not keep me from wanting to go there several times a day.

http://www.thesuperficial.com

3.) Coolest Gadgets

Whether you need an awesome gift idea, or if you just want to research what the latest is with technology, this site has it all. You can find pretty much any type of gadget you can think of -- and tons that you could not come up with on your own no matter how hard you tried. One of my favorites is a flatbed scanner disguised as a book. C'mon, that's totally cool. Oh, or the WALL-E thumb drive. Or the automatic pancake machine. Or the Japanese novel written on toilet paper. Ok, I have to stop or I'll never finish this article...

http://www.coolest-gadgets.com

4.) People of Wal-Mart

My sister sent me this link because she loves me. There is nothing funnier than a grown man going to Wal-Mart in his Superman pajamas and then someone having the smarts to take his picture and submit it to this site. You may think the pictures are staged, but sadly, you'd be mistaken. There really are people out there who dress like this and then go shopping at Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart is evidently a vortex of stupid. I have to remember not to go shopping there, or my picture could turn up on this site.

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com

5.) Babelgum

This brings me back to number 1 on this list, The Onion. Babelgum has The Onion's "news" videos and I swear even though you know full well it's fake news, you still catch yourself wondering if it's real. The newscasters are great, the videography is great, and the stories are great. Of course The Onion is not the only thing Babelgum has. Under the "Film" category I love watching "The Linguists" (for obvious reasons), but usually I spend my time in the "Comedy" category. You, however, may feel free to waste your time however you wish. But I recommend "Comedy."

http://www.babelgum.com

6.) lolcat

I have to admit that, being the old person that I am, it took me quite a few years to understand what the heck these things are. Text on photos of cats... Ok -- but WHY??? I've finally come to the conclusion that there doesn't need to be a reason. Sometimes you need to just accept things for what they are, and just get as much enjoyment possible out of them despite the fact that they make no sense. This is why now lolcats are on my list. Of all the lolcat sites on the 'net, I like this one because it lets you see the picture in a large-enough size (again, I'm old) and to hit "next" from each one without having to go back to the main page. When I'm busy wasting time, I want my visit to allow me to do the least amount of work possible.

http://www.lolcat.net/v/text

7.) Badgers

My son introduced this site to me. There is nothing to browse. There are no buttons to click. The only effort you have to put forth is typing in the URL and then turning up your speakers. You don't have to click "Play," and it loops so you can hear it over and over while just staring at the mesmerizing animations and just getting lost in the intellectual stimulation. It's a very moving experience.

http://weebls-stuff.com/toons/badgers

So that's my list. I'm sure you all have your own favorite ways of wasting time on the Internet. Which sites make your list?