My Shame & Why My Wife is Brilliant

A friend was complimenting me on one of my recent articles. She told me that it had her giggling throughout, but the last line made her laugh out loud. Nothing is more satisfying to a humorist than knowing that their readers actually laughed. Nothing is better than sharing that news with one's spouse.

In relaying that news to my wife, I expressed some embarrassment in the fact that the final line of the article, the line that made my female friend laugh so hard, was basically a fart joke. My wife's observation was so keen that I feel compelled to relay it to a wider audience (that's you). Her insight into one of the fundamental laws of the universe was so keen, you should write it down:

"The difference between men and women is that women will laugh at a fart joke, but men will laugh at an actual fart."

I knew she was right. She always is after all, but since karma rounds out the universe, today had to prove it to me.

Returning from lunch, I was jammed in the back of a sporty little Honda. My cell phone rang just 60 seconds from the office. Not wanting to interrupt my call (poetically, it was my wife) I gave no warning as to the impending horror that I was about to inflict on my workmates. As I chatted with my wife, I could see the conversation on the contorted faces in the front seats. I could not make out the actual words because I was pretending hard to listen to my wife, but it was obvious that they were discussing something unpleasant.

Upon our egress from the auto, I said simply, "Sorry about that."

They shouted in unison, "That was you?!" After which high-fives ensued and phrases such as "Dude that was awesome," were bandied about. For one brief moment, the car owner wondered if his catalytic converter had burned out. The shame is on me, on all men really, for actually enjoying a good "gotcha."

Let me now extend an apology for all men everywhere; we're sorry. We laugh a stupid stuff at inappropriate times. We're coarse and smelly at times. We live under pressure and do childish things to remain sane. We are sorry we are men, but we can't help being big kids.

That's the truth. That's the facts. That's the sorry, sorry facts and I'm sorry about that...not.