My Sister's Pet Died

When a sister's pet dies suddenly, what do you say? When this sister is miles away, and you were the first person called for support, there's not much time for planning or thought. Being a pet owner and one who has lost pets, I was probably called because I understand, and expected to give some help and support to my sister. I would not make her feel guilty that losing her pet matches or even exceeds the sorrow felt when one of our close sisters or relative died.

My sister was still in shock. She came home and feed the dog, Cheyenne as usual. The Cheyenne went out to toilet. My sister and her dog came back from their pleasant walk, enjoying the colder air and kids playing. Cheyenne greeting the neighbors as usual seemed her old self. Cheyenne came into the house, lay down on her favorite cover, closed her eyes, and died. Yes, my sister knew Cheyenne would die one day; she was 10 years old and moving slower every day. Cheyenne was never in great health. She had seizures and colitis. My sister would cook her food from scratch. When Cheyenne had seizures in the middle of the night, my sister would cradle Cheyenne's head until the seizure stopped. So there were many days and nights my sister thought would be Cheyenne's last, but not today.

First, I offered my sister my silence. I listened as her words rush forth. She had to get it all out, before she could take a breath. She was sitting on the floor with Cheyenne's head in her lap, crying and talking at the same time. When there was a moment of silence from her, I offered her my sympathy. Trying to reassure her it was so much better Cheyenne spent her last minutes with someone she loved.

Once my sister was calmer, together we made plans for Cheyenne funeral. I tried to guide my sister into making this process of mourning a healing one. We worked towards her expressing her grief. The plan was to bury Cheyenne in the backyard, near the baby bird that fell out the nest last year. My sister's boyfriend would her. We began plans for a little memorial spot in her garden. Sis being crafty made a little memorial stone so months ago, preparing for this day. It was a little heart shaped stone with Cheyenne's name and a paw print. I suggested my sister invite any neighbors Cheyenne greeted on her walks since I could not be there. I thought the neighbors could pay tribute to her dead pet and support one another as you say goodbye. My sister came up with the idea of having a quiet goodbye. She would invite the neighbors after for refreshments to share anecdotes and favorite stories about the Cheyenne. Sometimes others need permission to talk about your dead pet. Let them know you would rather keep the memory of your beloved pet alive than pretend that nothing has changed. Before hanging up, I reminded my sister to participate in the Monday Candle Ceremony. Grieving pet owners come together in a healing ritual begun on the Internet with a simple lighting of candles at the same time all across the country (10 p.m. eastern; 9 p.m. central; 8 p.m. mountain; 7 p.m. Pacific). I found the information while surfing the internet.

Every loss is a challenge to grow. Loss is painful. When a beloved pet dies, everything changes, including us. Nothing is ever the same again. Loss creates an emotional wound, but it is an injury that can be healed. With help and understanding, the pain of loss can be transformed into a challenging new beginning, and grief experience can become a healthy, positive and healing process. The one best place to bury a good dog is in the heart of its master. - Ben Hur Lampman