My Son: The Soccer Player (Yeah Right)

My oldest son, Austin, is a football player. He may not be the best football player in the world, but he tries and he has a good time doing it. He's currently 14 and playing for a high school club team. But he hasn't always played football.

When he was just 5 years old and in kindergarten he decided he wanted to try his hand (or should I say foot) at soccer. All of the little kids in our neighborhood played soccer and he was thrilled with the idea of being on a team with them and playing "real sports". My husband and I are NOT soccer fans but we figured...what the Hell? So we signed him right up.

My husband and I were still very young at the time and had no experience with sports parents so, let me tell you, his first practice was a bit of a wakeup call. Here were all these little bitty kids running around aimlessly and chasing a soccer ball that no one seemed to be able to actually catch and here were these parents, gathered around with notebooks and video cameras screaming at little Timmy to " use your head! Get your mind in the game! RUN FASTER" Austin looked at me with these enormous eyes, like he was afraid I would suddenly morph into one of these shouting, bulging eyed Soccer Moms just by being around them.

I was doubtful about how long this soccer experiment was actually going to last but I held my tongue for Austin's sake. I took him to practices and watched him run around and even pick up the game a little bit. He seemed to be enjoying himself, so I did my best to ignore the Soccer Momzillas who surrounded me at every practice and just let him have fun.

Finally, his first game rolled around. Boy, was this kid excited. He got to wear his cool uniform and his new cleats and they would play another team and everything. I was such a proud Mommy as pranced around showing off his shiny blue outfit with the number on the back, just like the guys on TV wear. He was darling.

When it was time to take the field, he and his little teammates all took off at a dead sprint. And that is when it became apparent that none of these kids knew how to play soccer. Especially not my son. He literally ran around in circles for about 5 minutes, and then sat flat on his butt in the middle of the soccer field yelling for a drink.

After what seemed like an eternity, the game ended with the impressive score of 0-0. On the way home, Austin informed me that soccer "is not that fun" and asked me if he had to play anymore. My husband, in an attempt to teach him not to be a quitter, made him stick it out and finish the season. I must admit, he did get a little better. We never quite figured out the game but he did manage to kick the ball around a bit and even made a goal or 2. At the trophy ceremony after the last game he was named MVP - in his words, "Most Marvelous Player". He still has that trophy to this day on his bookshelf.

That was the first and last season of soccer Austin ever played. When soccer season rolled around again and I asked, half jokingly, if he wanted to sign up he gave me "a look" and a very vehement " NO."