My Step-Son's First Christmas

Melding two households is never easy, and it's even more difficult when the religions are different. My husband was Jewish, and was raising his two sons to be Jewish. I was Christian, and my children expected a Christmas tree. What to do?

After much discussion -- or you might call it negotiation -- we made what to us seemed like the obvious choice. We'd celebrate Hanukkah, and then Christmas. As a result, we spent one incredible afternoon buying the perfect Menorah and searching out the perfect Christmas tree. My two kids were terribly excited, and my husband's oldest son, age 10, was pretty whipped up. His 5 year old son, however, was terribly quiet.

We got the holiday goodies home, set up the Menorah, and dealt with the excitement of tree-trimming. My husband and his two boys had to learn all the "rules," the traditions that make Christmas special. My kids and I had to learn the prayers that were to be recited when the Menorah was lit each night. Our first Hanukkah was wonderful. What little kid wouldn't LOVE to get presents each night! Lighting the candles was special, and we made sure each child got to do the candles at least once.

As Christmas Eve approached, we noticed my husband's 5 year old getting even more subdued. By the big night, he would hardly say a word. Finally he came to me, clearly troubled. In a moment I will remember forever, he asked me the question that had been bothering him.

"Santa never came to our house before. Why would he come now? How do we know that he won't just leave presents for your kids?"

My heart went out to him. This was a big issue to a five year old, a very serious thing. No wonder he'd been worried. How could I have the wisdom to answer him? What could I possibly say to put his mind at ease? My children were younger; they believed in Santa with all their hearts. As I thought over a series of possible answers, a quiet calm came to me.

"Sweetie, have you ever had a Christmas tree before?" He answered "No, but some of my friends do."

"Does Santa come to their house?" I asked. "Yes, he sure does."

"There you have it, sweetie. This is the first time you've had a Christmas tree, and the tree is what Santa looks for, not the religion. There's a tree here, so he'll leave you presents."

For the first time in days my step-son perked up. "Do you really think so?" I was able to tell hm, in utter honesty, that I KNEW so.

As we tucked in all four kids, we considered ourselves truly blessed. The Great Creator had given us the opportunity to share of ourselves and our traditions with four special little people. Though the marriage didn't last, the memories did. As an adult, my step son told me that he had always remembered the "Christmas tree" explanation, and held it in his heart. He even thought he heard reindeer on the roof, that first Christmas.