My Super Bowl Predictions - I Dare You to Disagree

As the New England Patriots and New York Giants make last minute preparations for the Super Bowl, I felt the Las Vegas oddsmakers could benefit from my Super Bowl predictions.

1 Coin toss
A bizarre amount of time will be taken with the referee and the captains of both teams to shake hands and explain the nuances of the coin toss - which happens every single game during the regular season but for some reason it's only the Super Bowl which focuses in on the excruciating details of the process, ending with the coin flying into the air and falling either heads or tails.

2 Tom Brady's footgear
Tom Brady will not wear a boot during the game. He will wear comfortable shoes that will allow him to drop back to pass. He was seen wearing a boot after the AFC championship game. My concern will be great if, after the Super Bowl, he's seen wearing not just a boot on occasion, but also high heels.

3 Eli Manning's Marketing Appeal
One reason Eli Manning is in the Big Game is he doesn't do commercials like his big brother Peyton. He's been too busy fending off criticism in the regions of the Big Apple from sportswriters who are grossly out of shape. Eli Manning's not as handsome as Tom Brady and I don't expect he will be after the game, either - especially if the New England defense gets its way.

4 Beer Drinking in Pittsburgh
Somewhere in the greater Pittsburgh area, a lonely man who lost money betting on the Steelers versus the Jaguars will open a can of beer in his room, curtains drawn, illuminated only by the glow from the television set. It won't be me - I like in Southern California.

5 Southern California
A volleyball game will take place on the sand near Hermosa Beach or Manhattan Beach with at least one participant being blond and quite busty. At about 4pm Pacific Time, she'll shout out to her friends "hey, the Super Bowl's on, let's go watch the commercials!"

6 Touchdowns
The New England Patriots will score touchdowns. The New York Giants may very well score touchdowns, too. The New York Giants will be really happy when they kick field goals and score. If New England has to kick a field goal they'll say to themselves, "damn, we only got 3 points on that drive."

7 John Madden Should Lose Weight

8 The Gettysburg Address
No matter what analysis is provided before, during or after the game I predict that Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address will still rank as one of the most memorable speeches in the history of the United States.

9 Spectators
There will be very attractive rich women in the stands. There will also be a man sitting in the stands who brags to his friends about the $10,000 he spent during Super Bowl weekend even though he still says he doesn't have enough money to save for retirement.

10 Super Bowl parties
Every year, our church has a Super Bowl party where the homeless gather to watch. And then some will stay after for a Bible study. Each week during the year, there's a small group of people who feed the homeless in Pasadena. The Super Bowl just gives it a bit more of a festive atmosphere.

11 My AC Page Views
While I watch millionaires bang heads, I'll wonder "how in the world do I increase my page views, traffic to my blog, AC, the Helium site blah, blah, blah?"

12 Enjoying Our Freedom
People may worry about the economy. But do we realize how much extravagance we still have available? I have two friends who live in the country of Nepal and the typical family lives on about $1 per day. So don't waste your chips.

13 New England's Back-up Quarterback
I honestly don't know who he is. But I hope he enjoys the game and what a story it will be if he gets in and saves the day for the Patriots.