Myspace - the Cause of Divorce?

I have heard of some men and women complain that the Internet "particularly Myspace" is the reason they have broken up with their loved ones or even divorced. That it ruins relationships and marriages. A lot of people now will not allow the ones they are with to even have a Myspace account due to the insecure suspicion one might use it to start another relationship or better yet "hook up". So does all the hype of this have any truth to it? I talked to some women that have had experiences with Myspace and here is what they had to say.

Jennifer Thompson, 32 of Ypsilanti Michigan; "Personally, as long as everything is above the board and both parties know what is going on, I don't see a problem with it. I don't have a Myspace, but my husband still does. I do all the pictures, and updates for him. So, I guess I am still involved with it. I trust him completely and the ladies on his Myspace are not only his friends, but mine too!"

This is a good example of old fashion trust. Yet it may not be enough in some of today's relationships, seeing how one may cheat with or without the trust of their spouse, but it does help in securing a relationship. Being involved in your spouses life and friends is a very important aspect of a marriage.

You do not have to necessarily like or hang out on a regular basis with your spouses friends if you do not want too, however to know where that person stands as well as letting them know you are there is important. Doing these things without being nosy or judgmental is the way to go about it, being involved in most aspects of a spouses life will not only help with the trust and security of a marriage or relationship, yet also show your spouse that you take interest in them and their interests.

Lilly Ortega, 23 of Ohio; "I almost left my husband and still wonder if there is something going on. I found a message from one of the girls he is friends with on my husbands open Myspace account, he actually had gotten a few messages about where she lived, where she worked, when she worked, and her phone number. She lives in our town. When I confronted my husband, he said that he hadn't talked to her. So I brought up the fact they she gave him all her information and that I knew about it. Then I checked again when he had it open and she sent him a message saying she had posted some new pictures and that he should check it out. When I checked it out all they were of her in panties and a bra. So then I saw her drive by the apartments and he said he didn't tell her where we lived. I am very cautious and try to know where he is when he's not with me. But I am always working on a safety net for my daughter and I because I'm not sure I trust him 100%. I really want him to get rid of his Myspace or only do a shared one with me for our shared friends and family. I honestly hate Myspace because without it I don't think we would have this problem."

She obviously does not trust her husband, but with good reason. This is at a point where someone in this situation should ask themselves what they really want. If they can accept the infidelity, lack of trust and lying that may and probably has occurred and are wanting to work to put that in the past and try again, then marriage counseling would be a great suggestion. If the untrustworthy spouse were to decline such a proposal then maybe they are not willing to work for it, or maybe they just simply do not want it. Majority of people to come back and not be a repeat offender in a case where there has been sneaking around, cheating, and lies, is very slim. Get the facts, make sure it is not all in your head first, then take action, communication is a great start. Counseling would be a great follow up. To believe that if Myspace wasn't around that a cheating spouse would have never been unfaithful or dishonest would only be lying to yourself. A person will find a way.

Erin Lopez, 25 of Philadelphia PA; "I think it all depends on what the Myspace account is being used for, if it is purely for entertainment or keeping in touch with old friends then there should be no problems. If it is being used for meeting new people, that's when trouble starts, even if the "friendships" are platonic. I don't think Myspace or any other Internet site can single handedly destroy a strong honest relationship and if it does, there where underlying issues to begin with."

"However, on the other side of the argument, one of my best friends and her husband moved to another state and were meeting new friends on Myspace. They had both agreed to on-line friendships, since they where in a new place where they didn't know anyone. One day, my friend decided she would upload some new pictures for her husband and found he had changed his password, so after a screaming match, she got the new password and found lots of messages from a girl he met off of Myspace and was sneaking around with. Unfortunately, this kind of thing happens way too often and it gives the websites a bad reputation. It's really just the snakes that use them. In my opinion, if you are honest and your relationship is strong the Internet should not pose a threat."

Kristy Gibson, 21 of Hopkinsville KY; "Myspace doesn't make people cheat... if someone is untrustworthy, then they are untrustworthy! Blaming Myspace is just a cop out."

If a relationship isn't meant to work it won't regardless of whether you have access to something like Myspace or not. Myspace may make it easier to meet people, but if it didn't exist people would still find other people. A person who is not happy in a relationship doesn't need to look for people on-line, they can find people walking down the street. There is always an underlying reason why a relationship doesn't work out, to point the finger at an Internet site is taking the easy way out. If people learned to discuss their real problems then I think a lot more relationships would survive. My husband and I both have separate Myspace accounts and have never had even one issue. In fact, that is where we met years ago! Strangers may send us messages wanting to meet or "hook up", despite the fact that both our profiles say "Married", people tend to ignore that. We will just delete the messages, block them, and move on. No big deal. We even share passwords, we could care less mainly because we know neither of us will cheat and have 100% communication and trust. Bottom line, if Myspace was not in existence, then I am sure someone who is going to cheat will find another way, it just may be more convenient.

sources: original/friends