MySpace Etiquette: Don't Get Deleted from MySpace Friends Lists

Now that MySpace is an online phenomenon, what happens online often seems more important than what happens in the real world. For example, your friend blows you off over the weekend - no big deal. But she takes you out of her MySpace Top 8 and the world is ready to come to an end.

Plus, many people just want to have the most comments, picture comments and friends as possible, as if MySpace popularity actually means something. Maybe it does.

In any event, if you want to keep friends on your list and keep the list growing, here are a few key rules of etiquette to follow:

Don't do anything on MySpace you wouldn't do in the real world

I know it seems like MySpace is a universe unto itself, but rules of common sense and courtesy that apply in the real world shouldn't be thrown out the window just because you're on MySpace. For example, if you wouldn't insult or pick a fight with someone in the real world, don't do it on MySpace just because you're sitting safe and sound behind a computer. One way or another, everything you do on MySpace will come back to you, so make sure you treat someone online the same way you would if you were face to face.

Don't gossip about people on MySpace

Maybe you're leaving comments back and forth with your friend "Jen" about another girl, "Suzy," thinking that Suzy will never see the comments because she's not on either of your friends' lists. But it turns that Suzy finds out you're talking trash about her through a friend who is on both of your friends lists and has full access to your comment convo.

Unless you're sending a personal message to someone, never assume that what you are saying is private (and even a personal message can be forwarded or cut and pasted). MySpace is an extremely public forum, and even if your page is private and visible to only your friends, it's never a good idea to talk trash about people just because they're not on your friends list. Because chances are, they have a friend who is.

Don't post negative blogs about people you know

This is related to the previous point. First off, it's immature. Secondly, it's probably going to get back to them one way or the other, even if the person isn't on your friends list. If you really have that much of a problem with someone, do the classy thing and address it directly with them in a private setting where your drama doesn't become a public soap opera. And if you don't want to address it with them, at least don't be underhanded and post about them on your page.

Don't randomly request people just so you can have more friends

This is just silly, and you end up being MySpace friends with a bunch of people you don't know. The point of MySpace is to allow people to connect with their friends and make new ones, yes, but if you're just requesting every MySpace user you can find so that your friends list finally breaks the 1,000 mark, you might want to rethink your strategy.

Usually when someone I barely know requests me, even if I accept them in the beginning, I end up deleting them during my periodic MySpace house cleaning sessions because I never talk to them. Focus on building relationships rather than just increasing numbers.

Don't post too many bulletins

Thisis BY FAR the most important point on the list. Posting way too many bulletins, especially in succession, is the quickest way to get you deleted from my friend's list. MySpace has a limited number of space for bulletins on the main page. Posting 5 or 6 bulletins in a row, all three minutes apart, is not only unnecessary, it's inconsiderate. You take up someone's bulletin space with repeated nonsense that you easily could have (and should have) said in one bulletin.

I've seen music artists do this thinking that they're engaged in "promotion." Not quite. Promotion is the art of making things well-known. Posting seven bulletins in an 11-minute span is the art of getting yourself swiftly and irrevocably deleted from my friends list. There's no need to post the same bulletin over and over again, as I can easily see your one bulletin just as effectively. This does not succeed in getting my attention any better than posting one bulletin, and if it does, my attention is usually directed toward the delete button.

Unfortunately, MySpace does not yet have a way to block bulletins from users who are prone to post repeated, stupid bulletins. So it's either put up with the multiple annoying bulletins or delete friends, and in my case, I'm more than willing to delete.

If you're going to post a bulletin, at least make it some kind of meaningful communication. Be considerate of your friends' bulletin space as well as their time next time you feel like you need to post eight surveys in a row.

There are lots more rules of etiquette to consider on MySpace; these are just a few to remember. Hopefully they'll help you maintain the friendships you have and make more while keeping your MySpace life drama-free.