Myths of Parenting a Newborn

This article is the first of a series of articles to help new parents learn the tips they need at Raising Baby. There is also a discussion for new mothers experiencing post-partum blues and depression, plus more.

I will be adding myth articles later dealing with raising older infants as well as toddlers. My hope is that you, as parents, potential parents, and caregivers, will learn the needs and wants of newborns in order for them to grow and flourish. Please take the time to read this and do not take it lightly.

Myths

Myth One- Letting baby "cry it out"

- Truth: Babies cry for a reason. Newborns need to know they can depend on you. Erik Erikson, a developmental psychologist, developed a series of stages that we go through from birth on up. (About.com) The first stage is trust vs. mistrust. Newborns need to know they can trust their main caregiver. They need to feel secure in order to grow and develop properly. When an infant cries, it means that he or she is either hungry, dirty, scared, or in pain. In later months, they need to learn how to soothe themselves. But as newborns, it is important for them to feel that connection and know that their needs will be met. You will find conflicting ideas about this issue, but just trust your instinct. A mother's intuition is never wrong.

Myth Two- It isn't good for baby to have a pacifier or if baby spits pacifier out, it means he doesn't want it.

- Truth: Babies are born with a sucking reflex. They use that reflex to sooth and relax themselves. Pacifiers can sooth fussy babies as well as help them to use that reflex better, which can help with breastfeeding if he has trouble latching on. If you notice, a baby's fist will periodically go to their mouth. This is because of the natural reflex. One concern is dental issues. As a newborn, most babies don't have teeth. As they grow, at around seven months of age, you can reduce the amount of pacifier use to coincide with the growth of the teeth. Besides, the baby will lose these teeth, anyway.

Just because baby spits the pacifier out, it doesn't mean he doesn't want it. As a newborn, baby cannot control his tongue. To help with this, hold baby in your arm and hold the pacifier to baby's mouth to get him use to having it there. Eventually, he will gain better control of his tongue and can hold the pacifier in his mouth.

Myth Three- You'll spoil baby by holding her too much.

- Truth: You can't spoil a young infant. They need that love from the caregiver she so desperately needs to grow. (FamilyEducation.com) When she is first born, the nurse wraps her up and hands her to you. That first moment begins her lifelong journey and connection to you as a mother. Holding her can help her to regulate her breathing. By choosing not to hold baby, you are saying you are too busy for her. I do understand you have things to do, but your baby should come first. The fact that your baby will sleep most of her time away will give you the chance to do the stuff you need to do. To learn more about the benefits of holding your baby, go to the link provided for Family Education.

Myth Four- It's just the blues.

- Truth: This deals with you, the mother. If you are feeling down following the birth of your baby, this is normal; it's called the baby blues. To recognize the blues, look out for the following:

• Mood swings
• Feeling sad, anxious, or overwhelmed
• Experiencing crying spells
• Loss of your appetite
• Experiencing trouble sleeping

Baby blues often go away within a couple of weeks. However, if you have experienced any of the following symptoms for over two weeks, please talk to your doctor. This can be more than the blues. Post-partum depression affects about 13% of new mothers. According to WomensHealth.gov, symptoms of depression are:

• Feeling restless or moody
• Feeling sad, hopeless, and overwhelmed
• Crying a lot
• Having no energy or motivation
• Eating too little or too much
• Sleeping too little or too much
• Having trouble focusing or making decisions
• Having memory problems
• Feeling worthless and guilty
• Losing interest or pleasure in activities you used to enjoy
• Withdrawing from friends and family
• Having headaches, aches and pains, or stomach problems that don't go away

There are some factors that may play a role in depression. These are:

• Being tired after delivery
• Being tired from a lack of sleep or broken sleep
• Being overwhelmed with a new baby
• Having doubts about your ability to be a good mother
• Feeling stress from changes in work and home routines
• Having an unrealistic need to be a perfect mom
• Having a loss of who you were before having the baby
• Feeling less attractive
• Having the lack of free time

Another type of illness to watch out for is post-partum psychosis. Psychosis "occurs in about 1 to 4 out of every 1,000 births. It usually begins in the first 2 weeks after childbirth. Women who have bipolar disorder or another mental health problem called schizoaffective (SKIT-soh-uh-FEK-tiv) disorder have a higher risk for postpartum psychosis". These symptoms include:

• Thoughts of hurting the baby
• Thoughts of hurting yourself
• Not having any interest in the baby
• Seeing things that aren't there
• Feeling confused
• Having rapid mood swings

Things to do in order to help yourself, besides seeing a doctor, are:

• Rest as much as you can. Sleep when the baby is sleeping.
• Don't try to do too much or try to be perfect.
• Ask your partner, family, and friends for help.
• Make time to go out, visit friends, or spend time alone with your partner.
• Discuss your feelings with your partner, family, and friends.
• Talk with other mothers so you can learn from their experiences.
• Join a support group. Ask your doctor about groups in your area.
• Don't make any major life changes during pregnancy or right after giving birth. Major changes can cause unneeded stress. Sometimes big changes can't be avoided. When that happens, try to arrange support and help in your new situation ahead of time.

Again, if you are feeling any of the symptoms that are worse than the blues, contact your doctor immediately. Don't feel embarrassed or ashamed about it. Not getting treated for depression or psychosis can cause adverse reactions with your baby. Such reactions are:

• Delays in language development
• Problems with mother-child bonding
• Behavior problems
• Increased crying

For more information regarding post-partum depression and more, go to the link provided with the resource womenshealth.gov.