Naked Gardening

If you missed "World Naked Gardening Day" on September 9, 2006, do not worry. Just mark your calendars for May 3, 2008 and prepare to do your gardening in your birthday suit on the fourth annual "World Naked Gardening Day".

No, you do not need new glasses and yes, that did read "naked gardening".

Honestly, I started this article with the intent of writing a serious (okay, maybe serious is too strong a word), informative piece on this event, but frankly, as I was researching the topic too many sarcastic remarks kept threatening to type themselves up.

I quickly realized that most everyone gardens in some form. Perhaps you put a hanging basket on your porch, or plant a few pots with some herbs. Maybe you just rake the leaves in the front yard so your neighbors don't complain, or you may spend all your free time turning your backyard into a replica of the garden at Versailles. It does not matter it is all gardening, but you generally do it with your clothes on.

So, why would anyone want to garden in the buff? According to the WNGD.org website it is a fun, family friendly activity that tops the list of things that people would be willing to do in the nude. The only thing I am willing to do naked is shower and even then I'm tempted to throw a towel over the mirror so I don't have to see myself getting in.

The WNGD website also suggests that "More daring groups can make rapid clothes-free sorties into public parks to do community-friendly stealth cleanups." Sure, no one is going to notice a group of people sans clothes doing some quick weed pulling around the duck pond.

WNGD is also touted as being fun, costing no money (until you have to fork over bail, attorney's fees, and court costs), and running no unwanted risk (except to those who might accidentally spy you in the nude).

I feel like there are a lot of issues that are not addressed by those who are proponents of the naked gardening movement. What about the insects, thorns, and other small dangers of the garden? I think we all have places we would just as soon not have stung by bees or bitten by mosquitoes. Also, isn't using garden shears, loppers, and other sharp garden equipment in the buff just begging for an unfortunate accident to happen?

The WNGD site shows photos of seemingly happy people; naked as the day they were born, doing all kinds of garden related activities including picking vegetables and carrying baskets of their bounty. There isn't enough vegetable wash in the world to clean that image out of my mind.

Have you ever noticed that the people who embrace public nudity are generally not the people you want to see naked? There are no Matthew McConaughey's or Pamela Anderson's gardening in the nude. These most definitely ARE your father's nudists.

After careful consideration I have decided that I will continue to wear my clothes for any gardening activities in the interest of making sure that no one in my community goes blind.

Authors Note: Just a heads up to let you know that the WNGD.org website does feature pictures of nude people.