Name-Brand: Trump

I must be the least observant person in the Western Hemisphere, but after browsing through Staples the other day I just realized that Donald Trump now sells office furniture. I have no idea how long this phenomenon has been going on, but I can hardly say it is a surprise considering the name Trump has become synonymous with everything from spring water to cologne and clothing. Not that his Staples gig really matters to me. There is simply no way I'm paying $400 for a chair from Staples, especially when there are at least a dozen other chairs lined up next to it for about one third of the price. A bit overpriced if you ask me. But hey, I don't begrudge anyone their billions, I'm a registered Republican.

Given Trump's presence in their American economy, it's not that difficult to speculate what future business ventures Trump will likely undertake given his desire to dominate every possible market.

Below is a list of possible products you might be seeing in the near future sporting the famous Trump logo. Be on the lookout.

Trump Tricycles. Because even the toddler set deserves to travel in style. These three-wheel wonders come complete with pure gold wheel spokes and cashmere seats. All this for the reasonable price of $22,999.99.

Trump Condoms. Because the prophylactic industry is a "multibillion dollar industry" and people "get around." There's even sex in the boardroom now.

Trump at the Track. Horseracing is popular, so there is no conceivable reason for Trump not to get his hands in this market too. Check out the newsstand at your local track in the near future for Trump's speed figures and picks of the day.

Trump Change. Hand over three clean crisp dollar bills to a cashier at Target and you can have a random assortment of Trump's personal collection of coins worth $1.85 that come packaged in a tiny velvet drawstring bag sporting the words "Trump Change." Because everyone loves already-used coins and Trump himself has admitted to picking up spare change on the ground. Clearly, the reason for this surprising habit of his was intended as leverage to market Trump Change.

The Trump Mobile. Because Donald Trump prefers that Americans no longer think of Henry Ford when they think of automobiles. Each vehicle comes complete with a cardboard poster of a chauffeur for those of us who can't afford personal drivers.

Trump Dictionary. Because Merriam-Webster sucks.

Trump on the Moon. You won't exactly get a trip to the moon, but for $50,000 you can land on the top of Trump Tower, which is equipped with an inflatable moon bounce that you can use for an entire hour, all the while watching Michael Jackson impersonators moon walk around the roof's perimeter.

Trump-in-a-Box. An adult-version of the jack-in-the-box, this hand-held toy consists of a miniature version of Donald Trump that pops up and says, "You're fired."