Naming Your Baby

Choosing a name for a baby can be simple or it can be an exasperating decision. The trends have been changing quite a bit to the point of going from simple and popular names to more unusual names. Celebrities such as Anjelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are not the only people striving to come up with unusual names for their children.

An analysis of 325 million baby names recorded by the Social Security Administration from 1880 to 2007 gave researchers reason to believe that the increase of unusual baby names could be an indication of a cultural change from welcomeing the idea of "fitting in" to the more recent idea of "standing out" and being unique. Jean Twenge, a researcher from San Diego University, also states that if taken too far the individualism strived for could also lead to narcissism.

Twenge has authored books such as "The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement" (Free Press, 2009) and "Generation Me: Why Today's Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled - and More Miserable Than Ever Before" (Free Press, 2007).

Twenge stated, "The most compelling explanation left is this idea that parents are much more focused on their children standing out. There's been this cultural shift toward focusing on the individual, toward standing out and being unique as opposed to fitting in with the group and following the rules."

According to Twenge, the positive side of such individuality is less prejudiced outlooks and more tolerance for minorities but she also warns that, when taken too far the "individual" aspects can lead to narcissism.

"I think it is an indication of our culture becoming more narcissistic," Twenge stated. "Parenting has become more permissive and more child-focused and [parents] are much more reluctant to be authority figures." Research back in the 1950s showed that parents placed a good deal of importance on children being obedient and that importance has dissipated quite a bit.

"It remains to be seen whether having a unique name necessarily leads to narcissism later in life," Twenge said. "If that unique name is part of a parent's overall philosophy that their child is special and needs to stand out and that fitting in is a bad thing, then that could lead to those personality traits."

There is no evidence that personalities of a child can be matched to the unusual name a parent might give them.

This research and more is detailed in the January issue of the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, also included Emodish M. Abebe of SDSU and W. Keith Campbell of the University of Georgia in Athens.

New York University and Indiana University, Bloomington research suggests that, like the stock market, the change in popularity of a name leads to a tendency to choose more unusual names. The research concludes that naming our babies revolves around our cultural experiences, and was conducted by Todd Gureckis, an assistant professor of psychology at NYU, and Robert Goldstone, a professor of psychological and brain sciences at Indiana University. The study can be found in the Topics in Cognitive Science.

"Our results give support to the idea that individual naming choices are in a large part determined by the social environment that expecting parents experience," the authors wrote. "Like the stock market, cycles of boom and bust appear arise out of the interactions of a large set of agents who are continually influencing one another."

It has also been noted that this is a fairly new phenomenon.

When choosing a name for your baby, there are many avenues to explore for ideas. Family and friends sometimes make an expecting parent feel pressured to name their baby a certain way but ultimately it is a parent's choice and no other opinions really matter.

Many parents give their child unusual names without giving much thought to how the name will affect the child as he or she grows and that could create a harsh environment for a child.

A great example of this would be to make up a name that could be taken apart as used as something hurtful. Several years ago, I knew of a woman who gave birth to a premature baby girl. Two months early, the unfortunate little girl was diagnosed with several ailments and she was obviously under developed. The doctors had to tell her mother that she was brain damaged and that she would never be able to function normally. She was mentally handicapped and would spend her entire life as such.

The woman decided on a very unique name for her baby girl and ended up in a confrontation with the hospital because the hospital initially refused to put the chosen name on the baby's birth certificate.

The name was Shithead.

This is the actual spelling of the name the baby was given, supposedly pronounced "She-thade". The hospital in Lawrence County, Tennessee caved to the woman's demand after she threatened to sue.

Children are not taught how to be nice anymore and young kids are known to be cruel. This little girl will eventually have her name used against her, once kids figure out what the spelling of her name is, and this mentally handicapped little girl will be the brunt of horrendous jokes as she grows up. Most small children are sensitive anyway but this little girl came into the world with extra burdens on her. Can you imagine the cruelty that will be aimed at her? She started life with a severe handicap and then her mother added a huge target to her.

When naming our children, we need to be aware of what repercussions we may be promoting whether it be from the name alone or the "entitled" impression that we may give our kids. We need to make sure that we teach our children that they can be individual while still "fitting in".

It is not necessary for individualism to sway toward narcissism when our teachings show our children how they should behave, not their names.