There is no doubt about it. I am a coffee-holic. Sure I've tried sobriety once or twice, tried switching to green tea as though it were a nicotine patch, but it just doesn't work. My thoughts turn to coffee. The cat knows she will not get fed until I've at least started the coffee pot. There's so much controversy over whether coffee is good for you or not. Personally, I just read the good stuff when I'm in denial over my little addiction. Hey, they still serve coffee at church, how bad can it be? And it helps keep old folks regular. And I'm not sure I could write without coffee. Or think without coffee, much less go to the bathroom without coffee.
Ah, coffee, I even love coffee ice cream. I'm sort of like the Bubba Gump of shrimp in this respect; There's coffee and cake, meeting online potentials for a cup of coffee at Starbucks; there's the polite excuse, "Let's get together for coffee sometime." and "Yes, the report is ready to go- it will be on your desk first thing in the morning, ma'am" Thank God, really thank you God for coffee, without it I would have failed physics, lost my first job, and my 14th. There's nothing like coffee in an emergency. Even as I write this, I'm in emergency mode. My 'for pay' articles won't publish for a few days and I need fodder for my viewer ratings.
What better fodder than coffee? One of my first writing assignments was "Five Best Coffee's at the Grocery Store" I'm still earning revenue on that one. Why? America is addicted to Coffee. Why else would we have a National Day dedicated just to coffee? "Excuse me while I get a cup of coffee.", this is a good excuse when talking to someone on Face Book; even if you really aren't getting a cup of coffee, but going tinkle instead or chatting with someone else on Face Book at the same time.
Coffee Cake, Coffee mouse, coffee fudge, tiramisu- oh tiramisu I love you! Did you know you can even put a bit of instant coffee in your Thanksgiving gravy to darken it up? There are cappuccino muffins, and who in their right mind would have biscotti with anything but coffee? Did you know that coffee is rich in anti-oxidants; I didn't either until I just looked it up on Yahoo. Why you can even win prizes by drinking coffee just by entering the Dunkin' Donuts Coffee Contest; we're talking big prizes like a trip to Costa Rica and 60 months of FREE coffee! You can go to almost any coffee house now and sit with your wireless laptop and jabber away for free. If it wasn't for Starbucks most of us wouldn't know Italian words like 'venti' (I suppose because it's 20oz), from 'grande' and a non-speaker of italian would not dare to pronounce macchiato just a decade ago.
Yes, I love coffee. In fact, I think I'll go get another cup. (Or is that just a clever excuse?)
Published by Loraine Alkire
Loraine Alkire is a freelance writer and cultural humorist living in Southern California. Alkire has had three amazing careers and a lifetime's worth of experiences to draw from in love, laughter, playtime... View profile
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