National Order of Progressive Revision of Political Correctness Inherent in News Technology

I hope this is apocalyptic only, and not prophetic. The way things are going, perhaps George Orwell was right.

Technology has probably advanced to the point where what follows is possible and if it has not yet, then it soon will have (apologies Ray Bradbury).

June 18, 2025

Effective with the signing into law by President Chelsea Clinton of the National Order of Progressive Revision Inherent in News Technology (No Print) bill, all existing copies of ink on paper books, magazines, news papers, and the like, are required to be destroyed no later than December 23 of this year.

The date was set because it coincides with the Winter Solstice, the beginning of the new sun. From this date forward, everything literary (or at least written) will be continually updated.

Each citizen will be required to produce all books and printed matter in their possession to a NoPrint depository for destruction. At this time, the person turning over the materials will be given credits equal to an assumed number of words with which live electronic copies may be acquired.

Persons submitting materials with more than 100 Million combined words will receive the No-Print Reader free. The $100 credit cost of the No-Print Reader will be pro-rated to those turning over more than 1 Million words.

President Clinton had this to say about the law, "The problem with written material is that is always reflected the social norms of the time in which the material was written and as society changes, works that may have been acceptable in their day are no longer politically correct. The No-Print Reader is a technological marvel. Through live full-time access to the Library of Controlled Reading Material, the successor of the Library of Congress, every piece of writing will be automatically updated in the most current and politically-correct status possible. This means we can let our children read such classics as Huckleberry Finn, because in it, Jim will be depicted as a Right-Wing Limbaughite befriended by a young Clintonite. Through these means, all the modern classics will maintain relevance to the current situation. In addition, as time passes and we know more and more about history, outdated histories will be modified to fit our current ideas and ideals. In signing this bill, I am ensuring the politically-correct learning for our children."

While the general public will no longer be permitted to retain hard copies of written matter, at least one copy will be retained in a locked vaults maintained by the Library of Controlled Reading Material. Access to these materials will be strictly controlled so as to preserve the integrity of the original work.

Special exemptions for written material owned as a work of art may be obtained by writing the Library of Controlled Reading Material. Each request will be assigned a field worker to evaluate the request. There will be no change in the procedure whereby all written matter must be approved by the Council on Political Correctness.