Native Wannabe or Searcher of Roots?

I am a white woman. Okay by all accounts I am white and couldn't be any whiter. What is interesting is that I have oral family history on my father's side that says we have Cherokee in us. What do I do with this? what do I want to do with this? I want to find out if it is infact truth so I go and seach the Dawes Rolls for signs of family Indian blood. I find some old family names but are they "my family" names? I suppose I could find out via money but I need..heh..money. It makes sense.

My family on that side comes from an area where many whites and Cherokee intermarried etc. and seems to fit in with the fact that my great and great-great grandmothers were Herbalists and midwives. The Granny women or the Appalachias, which would include these women, were very often Cherokee-Scots-Irish or some blending of Cherokee and Celt or German. I don't know what to think.

Claiming my Indian background which I am trying to do ....coupled with the fact that my pagan name is Ravynwolfe Moondancer doesn't fit in very well with some natives. Cultural theft is common and many pagans get painted with this brush. Misunderstandings are rife. Many first nations folk and Native Americans point at the name (never mind that the words are English words and that I too have the moon and the Raven etc.) or part of my witch path which includes smudging, (sorry folks that is witchcraft..nothing to do with Indian culture for me although in Europe it was Juniper usually and here it is Sage) and say "theif!". I can try my best to understand the fears and worries and cynicism of some people and assure many that I am my own person and not a wannabe but does it help? Do I try and live my own life or constantly bend to whatever someone else does not like? Am I being sensitive enough or over sensitive? I ask a native friend for advice and he says that people are people and some are good and some are not so good. I understand that and don't want to put the pressure on him as if he speaks for all native people. I am trying to understand me and my place in the native genealogy because of oral history period. If my ancestors had not given these words to me I would not in the least be this invested in the connection between myself and the native world. I don't wish to hurt or harm anyone. I don't rob rituals and healings of natives and try to make money off them, I learn from my witch teachers or all cultures and do what I can for donation only. I don't put myself out there as Cherokee and claim to heal anyone using Cherokee healing. I don't sell an "experience" and to do so would be disgusting to me. I only want to learn about my history..my personal history and all that which makes me what I am today.

I hope to learn patience with others and myself in this journey...to not let others bully me or paint me as a certain "kind" or if they do to just let it be and not let it bother me so much. I am simply me...Scots-Irish,German,Welsh,and very possibly Cherokee as well as female, daughter,sister,niece and auntie.

I'll keep on the genealogical hunt unlocking the history person by person.

Peace.