Natural, Reasonable, Age-Related Weight Gain is OK

If God designed our bodies to gain a reasonable amount of weight and to droop as we age, then why do so many people worry about and obsess over losing that natural, age-related weight? Body fat was designed to make our wrinkles and sagging skin look a little bit better as we age.

I'm not gonna give up beer & Cheez-Its just like I'm not gonna add exercise and low-calorie, reduced-fat foods as I age. Blech! Have you tasted those bland reduced-fat foods? And, what's up with those 100 calorie snacks? You know - the snacks that are packaged in individual 100 calorie baggies? Don't tell me I can only eat four half-dollar sized chocolate cookies. I want way more than that! One hundred calories. Bah!

Ever see old, skinny people? They just don't look right. They have more wrinkles than normal on their faces (ain't no cold cream gonna cure that). The saggy skin on their bodies droops a lot more, too. Grandpa better watch out when skinny Grandma waves goodbye to the grandkids. She'll knock him out cold with those flappy, upper arm Cessna wings. They flap so violently when she waves that Grandpa doesn't stand a chance. Poor guy.

I think the powers-that-be should ban weight-loss advertisements. I'm sick of seeing skinny people brag about how much weight they lost. I can guarantee you that 90% of those folks gain all that weight back within six months of reaching their goal. Want to see an example? Look at photos of Oprah over the years.

Of course, if we ban weight-loss advertising, the cosmetic industry won't be able to peddle their wrinkle-control and skin-firming products. Puh-leeze, $60 for a one ounce, fancy container of skin-firming cream?!? People, you're going to get old and you're going to get wrinkles. Accept it. Embrace it.

While we're on the subject of aging, learn to love your gray hair. Sure, it's a sign of aging. However, it's also a sign of wisdom and longevity. Life is short. Love your gray hair. Love your natural, reasonable weight gain. Love yourself.

Time to finish-off the box of Cheez-Its. Anyone have a bottle opener?