NBA Finals Jokes for Mavericks Fans: Yahoo! News Metro Stories

The NBA Finals start on Tuesday, May 31, at 9 p.m. ET between the Dallas Mavericks and the Miami Heat. What better time to bust out those Heat jokes than now?

It's all meant in good, clean fun but I'm still hoping to see Dallas wipe the floor with Miami Tuesday night. Here are some quick one-liners you can dish out at your NBA Finals viewing party or in the sports bar where you're catching the big game.

Here are some of my favorites from Jokes4Us- Miami Heat Jokes:

Q: What does a Miami Heat fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: What do you call a Miami Heat player with a championship ring?
A: A thief.

Q: What's the difference between the Miami Heat and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the Miami Heat and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What is the difference between a Heat fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How do you keep a Miami Heat player out of your yard?
A: Put up a basketball net.

Q: Why do Miami Heat fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Here's another cute one from the Marlins Baseball Forums:

Two Miami Heat Basketball Players Take an NBA Exam

Two Miami Heat basketball players were taking an important NBA exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank.

The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a ________."

Lamar Odom was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed.

Making sure the Commissioner wasn't watching, he tapped Eddie Jones on the shoulder. "Pssst. Eddie. What's the answer to the last question?"

Eddie laughed. He looked around to make sure the commissioner hadn't noticed then he turned to Lamar. "Lamar, you're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM."

"Oh yeah," said Lamar. "I remember now."

He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Tapping Eddie Jones' shoulder again, he whispered, "Eddie, how do you spell farm?"

"You are really dumb, Lamar. That's so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."

Now you're ready to start off the pre-game events with a chuckle or two or even be the one to share these jokes at a viewing party. What are your favorite NBA Finals/Miami Heat jokes?