NBA: Justice League

As any child of the 80's knows, we had the best cartoons of all-time. From heavyweights like Transformers and G.I. Joe to the brilliant ones like Bionic Six and M.A.S.K. to the obscure like Danger Mouse-we had it all. Nowadays, everything seems to revolve around anime and trading card games, with the exception of a few shows, most notably, Justice League.

For those of you who lived a life without comics or TV (I offer my apologies), the Justice League consists of the strongest heroes in the DC universe fighting the good fight. So, during a session of smack with the Crew, the question came up of if we had to apply this to the NBA, who would be the best? Who would our heroes be…and how would they stack up with their 80's counter-parts?

My friends, the answers await...

SUPERMAN

The Icon. The one hero who can single-handedly take over the world. Unstoppable except for kryptonite, which doesn't exactly grow on trees. The Last man Standing. So, who would this be?

Now - Shaquille O'Neal

Since he's already got it tattooed on his arm and every other substance that can hold the symbol, this goes to Shaq. Oh yea, The Big Continuous can play too. How many times have you seen every other big man in the NBA just sigh in defeat at the mere mention of his name? That's power and more importantly, intimidation. No defense has/will figure out how to give him kryptonite, save for the free throw line-and let's be honest, this hasn't done that much either since he's got a trio of NBA titles and Finals MVP awards. The last option should be the most powerful, and no one fits that more than the Diesel.

80's counterpart - M.J. a.k.a. The G.O.A.T. (Greatest Of All Time)

To give you an idea about how tough it was to play His Airness, we'll do an exercise.

Imagine the absolute worst, most horrific acts that someone can do to you-heartbreak, denying a promotion, insulting your mother, dating your sister and taking away money. Now imagine 15 years of it. That's exactly what everyone else had to put up with when M.J. was King. Only difference is his kryptonite existed in his youth and consisted of trying to destroy entire teams by himself. Surprisingly, he didn't fail at this as often as the opposition hoped. And like all great heroes, he made this one disappear with time.

BATMAN

The leader and most dangerous human on Earth. This is the guy that Superman relies on to stop him if he ever went rogue. His superpowers are his highly-trained skills with cutting-edge technology and most of all-killer instinct. He's also a billionaire, the mask he enjoys whenever he's not cracking skulls.

Now - Kobe Bryant

Batman has his share of angst, from his parents' death to the killing of Robin, and Kobe fits right in here. From the rape case to constant criticism of leadership ability, he's gone through it and is still the best wing in the NBA. None of that off-court drama matters on the court of truth, where he is judge, jury and executioner. Feats include: 56 points in three quarters, three titles, and a reputation for dagger shots whenever needed. No one wants to face him, period. And they know it.

80's - Magic Johnson

Don't let the multi-million dollar smile fool you. He loved to play, loved to win, and loved to destroy anyone in his way with an arsenal of offense, from precision passes to game-flow direction. With the ball in his hands, the other team was always in danger, and such is the essence of Batman. Give him enough time, and he'll beat you. Badly.

GREEN LANTERN

Wielder of the most powerful weapon in the universe, Green Lantern is unique, because his weapon is powered by his will and imagination alone. No limits. When crunch time comes, he'll be there, ready to go to war.

Now - Ray Allen

His shot is tantamount to the power ring. At one point this season, he was shooting 60% from three-point range. 60%. The best form in the league, and he's done an excellent job of leading the Sonics to the western Elite. Confidence in his team, confidence in his shot, and it's all about the win. Perfect fit to wear the Ring.

80's - Larry Bird

The court bent to his will. No question. Whenever he had to make the ball fall, it obeyed. When he wanted a rebound, the ball obeyed. Whenever he needed a steal, the ball seemed to find his outstretched hands. If his will and skills didn't shatter your confidence, his mouth would. Once turned to a taunting Chuck Person on the bench, said "Merry Christmas" and nailed a fade-away three. He was 27-feet away. Nuff said.

THE FLASH

His power is speed. Light speed. Travel-back in time speed. Snatch the sandwich from your mouth speed. Cocky as hell, never met a one-liner he didn't like and smart. Only weakness…sometimes he's too fast for his own good.

Now - Allen Iverson

With an array of talent at his disposal, The Answer is a virtual blur on the court. From acrobatic lay-ups to a crossover that's faster than an eye-twitch, Iverson is pedal-to-the medal for every game he suits up. Fearless, talented and blazing quick, all he needs is a red costume.

80's - Isaiah Thomas

With speed to match unrelenting competitiveness, he powered the Pistons to back-to-back titles. Court smarts combined with hard-nosed style of play, Isaiah ground up other guards and spit them out like chewing gum, all with a smile. Never backed down from anyone either.

MARTIAN MANHUNTER

The last survivor of Mars, possessing near Superman-level strength, telepathy and shape-shifting, he's in a class all by himself. Never hesitates to do whatever it takes to get the job done, be it down and dirty or high-style efficiency. Whatever someone's thinking, he knows. His power is your thoughts.

Now - Tim Duncan

Anytime one wants to know how any post player is supposed to score in any conceivable situation, just watch a Spurs game. Bank shots, dunks, hooks, up-and-unders, turnarounds, I-was-here-not-I'm-not-drives and the look of sheer concentration add up to seven-feet of pure ability. And whatever the opposition thinks about to stop him is wrong roughly 100% of the time.

80's - Kevin McHale

It never mattered who his opponents was on the block, because McHale would score against him. Anytime he wanted. Using feathery-touch with an uncanny sense of being where his defender wasn't, McHale established that you didn't have to be super-athletic to play down on the block, you just had to be skilled.

So what if we did some universe-crossing and invited a few others to join the party? Who the villains be? The guys you love to hate? What about the players whose skill doesn't deserve an NBA paycheck? What then?

MIGHTY MOUSE - Damon Stoudamire

Well, it is fitting that a cartoon about a rodent with superpower has a real-life counterpart in the NBA. All Portland fans know this one fact about his tenure at point guard-you're one play away from disaster every time down the court. He might be the only player in the League who gets cheered when he doesn't hoist up 15 footers from 18 feet or throw the ball to the Mascot.

PLASTIC MAN - Chris Webber

If he ever concentrated, Plastic Man would actually be good. It's fair to give that definition to C-Webb. He has a knack for a few things: not showing up at Crunch-time, shying away from the lower block, and some stated his heart is indeed made up of silly putty. Or lint. Both have the same use when there's five seconds left.

Dr. DOOM - Tracy McGrady

This evil villain is immensely-skilled, powerful and ruler of his own country. Yep, that's T-Mac, who never needs to be told of his greatness. With all-world offense, he backs it up. But like Doom's face, the lack of jewelry on his fingers is something that can't be over-looked, no matter how great his rhetoric.

SUPERBOY - LeBron James

When he's older, he'll be Superman. Just not yet.

THE BLOB - Marc Blount

Undeniably fat. This is not a skill, as eating too many burgers can cause an ordinary person to gain this "ability". He also doesn't move very fast, and doesn't really work well with teammates. As anyone who's watched the Celtics play, this resemblance is eerie. I've lost count of the times I've seen a perfect pass go through his hands, off his head, fumbled away, off his shoulder…

KILLER CROC - Ruben Patterson

Hideous in nature, this fiend seeks to defeat Batman by throwing giant rocks at him. This somewhat flawed practice ends in failure and he has yet to change his strategy. Ruben Patterson has no skills to speak of which prove a match for Kobe Bryant, who yawns and hits whatever shot he wants to on his way to 30 points. Been like this for four years and counting with no end in sight. The facial likeness is astounding as well.

AQUAMAN - Darko Milicic

One talks to fish, the other fetches water. Both are worthless.

HUMAN TORCH - Vince Carter

He's only cool because he can turn his body into fire and fly. Carter's superstar dunks doesn't hide the feeling that something's always missing…namely, desire. Toronto or New York, the scene can change, but the game remains the same.

DEATHSTROKE THE TERMINATOR - Spurs Defense*

Special exception. Slade Wilson has 90% brainpower, superhuman reflexes and thinks like a chess grandmaster. After the smoke clears, he'll have his money and the target is terminated. This fits the Spurs' killer defense, which destroys every single offense that believes they can score. They allow 86 points a game in a conference that has teams with averages of 112 points per. If that's not superhuman, I don't know comics. Only left is the final contract, due in June. Will they collect?

I think they will, because one thing they believe in, is Justice for all.