NBA: L.A. Clippers Continue Streak of Bad Luck

In the long history of the National Basketball Association, and perhaps organized sports in the United States, no other team has shown the type of ineptness that the Los Angeles Clippers have.

Started as a franchise in Buffalo, the Buffalo Braves to be exact, in 1970, the franchise that is the Los Angeles Clippers have a great history of resembling the burger meat more associated to the traditional term "franchise" than their more successful city brothers, the Los Angeles Lakers.

The stats would be funny if they weren't so horribly true: seven seasons at .500 or over in forty-seven years, only seven play-off appearances in those forty-seven years, a record that sports over seven-hundred more losses than wins, etc. To the Clippers seven appears to be a magic number. However, it probably isn't the magic that most numerologists expect.

Mismanagement has been the most obvious reason for why the Clippers are terrible. For one, they kept the name "Clippers" after moving to the city of Los Angeles. Once they had moved to Los Angeles, in 1984, their owner, Donald "I'm Always Smiling in the Face of Futility" Sterling, had a chance to rework the entire Clippers' image. He could have changed the name for one. I mean, does anyone really know what a Clipper is? And, what in the world does the word "clipper" have to do with basketball? More significantly, why would you name your basketball team after something that most of your fans would never in a million years have the chance of owning?

To most Los Angelenos...heck, to most everyone in the world, the word "clipper" means a hair-cutting instrument. That would make the Clippers a set of hair-cutting instruments.

If the name weren't bad enough, Clipper management has made losing good players part of their repertoire. At one time, the team sported a starting line-up of Ron Harper, who won championships with the Los Angeles Lakers and Chicago Bulls, Danny Manning, who was college basketball's player of the year in 1988, and Loy Vaught, who was considered one of the most exciting young players in the NBA in the 1990s. They also brought in a great coach in Larry Brown, but by the 1992-1993 seasons the team had been gutted.

Consistency has never been a part of Los Angeles Clipper lore. They have gone through more coaching changes than any team in NBA history and have dumped and signed players with abandonment.

But, it wouldn't be fair to curse Clippers' management without recognizing that in sport's parlance the franchise is basically snake bitten. There is just no other way to say it.

In the 2005-2006 seasons the Clippers took the Phoenix Suns, a traditionally strong team in the Western Conference, to the brink of elimination in the Western Conference Semi-finals. Although they lost that series, the Clippers' future looked exceptionally bright.

Of course, in traditional Clipper fashion, the next year proved to be a disaster. The snake that runs around the Clippers' offices, that continues to suck the life out of everything resembling Clippers' love, bit at the knee of future all-star guard Shaun Livingston and the Clippers' hopes of making the playoffs were dashed unexpectedly one muggy night in Charlotte.

Then, of course, because these are the Clippers, the snake decided to strike even harder this year. Welcome to the 2007-2008 Clippers' season where their hope for salvation rests in the wanting arms of NBA trouble-boy and overrated thug-king, Ruben Patterson.

That's right. The same Ruben Patterson who in 2001 pleaded guilty to attempted rape of his child's nanny. The same Ruben Patterson who was arrested in 2002 for felony domestic abuse charges against his wife. The same Ruben Patterson who must register as a sex offender whenever changing locations.

Why, oh why, would Clippers' management even consider signing this guy? At this point, perhaps the Clippers' feel it is necessary to feed the snake instead of trying to kill it.

Or, maybe, they just don't know what else to do. After losing their star player, and one of the top ten players in the NBA, Elton Brand, until probably March or April, the Clippers had no choice - - they will say - - they had to sign Ruben Patterson.

Such is life in Clipper world where there is no contingency plan, where decisions are made based on a history of ridiculous decisions, where ineptness follows ineptness follows ineptness.

Just change the name, Mr. Sterling. At least?