NBC's Heroes vs. 24 and Jack Bower!

Ever since NBC's "Heroes" became a hit in its first season on television, people have been wondering: What's going to happen come January? We've all been looking forward to the moment we can start up our annual "Jack's Back" campaigns. I know I personally have anxiously awaited the return of America's number one defender (at least, as far as television is concerned). Yet in the back of any "Heroes" and "24" fans' minds has been the puzzle of what to do come January . . . that is, come now. "Heroes" and "24" will compete on two different networks for viewers, and any fans of the newcomer must feel some twinge of fear at the idea of what Jack Bower will do when he comes back. "He's coming back?!" some likely screamed. "I thought he was in China!" (Clearly they'd forgotten one important detail: this is Jack Bower we're talking about here) Now all that's left to do is choose sides (or choose TiVo), sit back, and see what happens.

Yet in the calm before the impending storm, I began wondering to myself. In my wonderings, I thought, "Could anybody beat Jack Bower? Could anything or anyone possibly be enough to take out our modern hero who has survived everything from having threats against his life to capture by the enemy to drug addiction, car accidents, fires, and the threat of an impending bomb?" And then something clicked. Haven't NBC's heroes endured the same things? Yes, they certainly have! So that got me thinking, could any of NBC's heroes possibly prove a formidable force against Fox's television titan? This seems worthy of some investigatory . . . er . . . ness . . .

So, overlooking made-up words (and some possibly faulty logic), let's look at how Jack stacks up against some of our favorite new heroes, namely Peter Petrelli, Niki/Jessica Sanders, Hiro Nakamura, and Claire Bennett.

Jack Bower -vs- Peter Petrelli

1. Peter has the power it seems to absorb the abilities of any hero he's in close proximity to. If this is the case, could Peter possibly absorb Jack Bower's apparent invulnerability in the same way he did Claire's? Hm, sure, doubtful, but undeniably (don't deny it) a possibility.

2. Jack has survived explosions; Peter survived two tumbles from a rooftop, the first by flying and the second by absorbing Claire's healing abilities.

3. Jack is always on the run from America's Most Wanted, as well as his own government half the time; Peter is on the run from not only a power stealing super villain but also those who would like to capture him for the sake of experimentation. Peter even managed to befriend his apparent enemy, which may give him a hand up on Jack . . . I mean, as far as enemies go . . .

4. Jack frequently has to save his daughter, Kim; Peter saved a cheerleader.

5. Jack is willing to sacrifice himself to save America, and always gets to walk away for it; Peter was willing to sacrifice himself to save the world, and got to walk away from it, too . . . well, except he's now in a coma.

6. Jack grappled with drug addiction in one season; Peter is a hospice nurse.

7. Jack has dealt with the threat of a nuclear attack; Peter . . . well, he was dealing with the threat of an exploding man, but now he's pretty sure he is the exploding man, so I'm not sure that quite stacks up.

So, in this battle between national hero and super hero, who would win? I'm afraid I'd have to go with Jack Bower; while Peter may prove a formidable challenge-sort of-Jack's still had more experience, and none of what Peter has done so far quite stacks up to Jack well enough to assure his victory. That is, unless he happened to be in close proximity to Nathan the flying politician and Claire, a.k.a. "Miss Miracle Grow", for a long enough to have their powers to rely on. Plus, at this point, I don't think we could honestly say Jack would have any trouble beating a man in a coma-not that he would ever stoop so low-and if Peter is indeed the bomb Jack would probably have what it takes to . . . er. . . disarm him.

Jack Bower -vs- Niki/Jessica Sanders

1. Jack always has to use different identities to go undercover; Niki has another identity set and ready to take over whenever need be.

2. Along the same lines, Jack is frequently receiving backup from CTU or the government; Niki has her own personal backup along with her all the time.

3. Jack has been captured by his enemies and lived to tell about it . . . and get payback. Niki/Jessica has been captured by her enemies and lived to tell about it . . . and get major payback.

4. Jack, as previously stated, is always on the run either after or away from America's Most Wanted; Niki's husband is wanted, and Jessica was definitely on the run after him.

5. Jack has been known to torture his suspects to get the information he wants from them and take them out afterwards; Jessica has been known to rip her enemies in half, so she sort of skips a step.

6. Jack had the opportunity to kill in cold blood the woman who betrayed him in season one, but did the right thing (and I'm pretty sure killed her later, but if Jack killed her she probably deserved it, right?); Niki/Jessica had the opportunity to kill her abusive father and her convict husband who stole her son and did the right thing by turning herself in. . .

Wait a minute . . . so as far as we know, Niki's now in jail? I guess that doesn't make her much of a threat to Jack, now does it. In either case, I'm pretty sure Jack would still be quite capable of beating her in an epic battle. I mean, Jack shot a suspect's wife-who happened to be a good friend of his for quite a long time-in the knee to get a confession; I don't doubt he'd be willing to take Niki down.

Jack Bower -vs- Hiro Nakamura

Er, okay . . . I know "Heroes" fans are probably wondering why at this point I've even done this "analysis" at all; all our heroes are being wiped out by one guy. So, when it comes to Hiro, I don't think I should even bother deflating people's bubble even further by pointing out in seven steps just why Hiro-at least, the Hiro we know and love now, as versus the future Hiro we got a glimpse of-probably wouldn't be much of a match for Jack. However, I think I can offer comfort in that this fight could be a potential draw. I mean, think about it; Hiro has the power to teleport. He can stop time with his mind. Don't you think he might be smart enough to get away from Jack before Mr. Bower has a chance to go to work on him (not like how he handled the high roller in the alley of Los Vegas, either)? So, at least this time our hero won't necessarily be taken out . . . He could leave Jack frozen in time for the rest of his life if he wanted.

Jack Bower -vs- Claire Bennett

This should be interesting. I mean, Jack has never openly been willing to take out a kid before; the last time it looked like he did he was faking. So, let's see how Claire stacks up with Jack.

1. Jack's life is threatened in practically every hour of the day, yet scratched up, wounded, and bloody as he may be, he always makes it out alive. Claire's life has been seriously threatened twice, once by Sylar, and once where she actually died after the quarterback's hormones went a little hog-wild; yet as . . . er, completely unscratched, unwounded, and mildly bloodied as she may be, Claire has always made it out alive . . . even after she died!

2. Jack has survived car, plane, and any other moving-form-of-transportation-accident you can think of with nothing but a few new scars to show for it. Claire has survived a car crash and death with no scars to show for it.

3. Jack has run through fire and explosions to save himself; Claire ran through fire to save a man she didn't even know.

4. Jack has fought against the threat of an impending bomb; Claire, if we trust Peter's vision in the last episode, is still fighting against the threat of impending bomb that may actually be her friend. Is anyone else wondering if the bomb could take out Claire . . . who survived her own death?

5. Jack frequently has to save his daughter, Kim; Claire, who is younger than Kim, manages to save herself all the time.

6. Jack's weapon of choice seems to be a gun; Claire's weapon of choice is her ability to smash a car full speed into a brick wall and not die.

7. Jack is temperamental, edgy, and sometimes something of a loose canon . . . Claire is a teenaged girl. You can't beat that.

So, in our final battle between national hero and super hero, who wins out? Call me biased, but I'm pretty sure Claire stands the best chance of beating Mr. Bower. Not only could he face hesitation at trying to take out a teenaged girl, but he'd have to try to kill a girl who, as far as we know, can't die! I don't know how Jack could beat that (actually, I can think of a way, but we're trying to keep this PG, so I won't mention it). I'm willing to bet that Claire could most definitely give Jack a run for his money.

No matter how you stack these groups of heroes up against each other, one thing remains true of both; they are all awesome, and all are worthy of our viewings. Best wishes as you try to decide to whom your loyalty may have to lie during the remainder of the television season. Maybe you can decide this way: Whose bad side would you not want to be on by any means? The group whose slogan was "Save the cheerleader, save the world" and then "Are you on the list?" . . . or the guy who is known for lines such as "The only reason you're not dead right now is because I don't want to carry you?" You can call that a biased question if you want . . . I'm just watching my own back. Haven't you heard?

Jack's back.