Negative 150 Degrees Kelvin: Below the Impossible!

Recently, in "Freezing Labs, Inc." a scientist by the name of "Kelvin Cold" was able to cool an ice cube, and his entire lab, to -150° K.

"It started by thinking how cold this jerk-of-a-cashier's heart was at Schnuck's," Cold says. "She kept going off on me for bringing the wrong number of items into the 10-items-only checkout lane. I had an associate of mine go back in and pay her to come with him back to my lab. Once there, we dosed her up on sleeping medicine. Once she was asleep, we aimed her at an ice cube, and a surgeon took out her heart! He ended up losing his hand due to frostbite, but he consider's himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth to be the one who first made anything go below 0° K."

Other scientists have gone and watched through windows as machines toss her heart around and make everything go below absolute zero. Cold now mocks this as "absolute shmeero." Scientists have taken records on -150° K, and have discovered it forms a new surface, which has been named "soliqugas" - a combination between solids, liquids, and gases.

"That's really what it seems like!" says Cold, excitedly. "It looks and feels like solids, but at times it just melts away onto new surfaces, or it might just disappear! Our next expiriment will be to test it out on humans, so they can tell us where everything's disappearing to! Maybe we'll, like, give them a walkie talkie... or... something."

As for the rude Schnuck's employee, she can not expect to see her heart again anytime soon. The scientists... are having too much fun.

*CRASH!* *SCREEECH!*

"Hey! Freeze this doohickey, too!!"