Negotiate and Build for Future Negotiations: How to Win Every Time

A man walks into his bosses' office and asks for a raise. The boss responds "Why don't I let you keep your job and pay you the same!" In times such as these, this would seem like a win situation for the employer and a lose situation to the employee. Even though the man did not get the raise, he keeps his job. When so many lay-offs are common these days, at least he retains his job at his current pay (an optimist would be at the very least, grateful for this). The boss keeps his help at the same rate. However, the man got what he deserved.

Negotiating is not just about asking and then receiving (or not), but about planning, building trustworthy relationships, keeping agreements and maintaining and building on the success, not resting on it.

I think most people, in their own minds, plan on how they can achieve that which they set out to do. More people go into negotiations thinking how they, and they alone, can benefit. This a huge mistake. The approach should be 'how both parties' can benefit. Even though the planning of the negotiations is the first step, much more must happen before the negotiations actually take place.

I believe people negotiate in almost everything they do in every aspect of life when dealing with others. The "what's in it for me" mind set is even a way to negotiate with oneself. There must always be some give and take. One must learn to give in order to take (or receive). The more the scales are evenly balanced, the better the chance of both parties winning and you getting that which you seek. You will be more successful when you can plan your goal(s), then anticipate the goals of the other party.

Successful relationships come from being honest and building trust. Your word and integrity is on the line. I do not think this can be under stated or under valued. The moment your word is suspect, is the very moment question of doubt enters into the other parties mind. When the other party loses trust in you, the negotiating focus shifts and doubt and lack of trust sets in, becoming more of a shell game than a relationship building process. Always come to the table offering something to give. Do more than is expected and you will acquire leverage. Leverage in any negotiation has value. However, use leverage with caution. You do not want it to be interpreted as a threat, but rather as value.

After planning and relationships are accomplished, then timing is the key. This too, is essential to negotiating. Imagine asking for a raise after losing a major account or being out of work for an extended amount of time. Proposing to a woman that you just met or just started dating would not be a good idea, no matter how right the relationship is or could be.

Finally, maintaining a good relationship with whom you have arrived at an agreement with can be beneficial in ways you may not realize. You must follow through with your performance backing up your agreement or word. Coming to an agreement, but not performing the terms of the agreement, would in many cases, insure that there would be few (if any) future agreements between the two parties. This is crucial! Word of mouth has extreme value! The value to future negotiations, not only to the party with, whom you are in agreement with but to others; seen or unforeseen. If ones word and/or performance does not sustain honesty and trust, the effect could be devastating to you; undermining future negotiations.

It just is not worth jeopardizing your trust and integrity! Keep your word and it will pay off! Integrity is built through ones word; character is formed through ones performance. Trusting relationships are built through the negotiations and willingness to maintain those agreements determines worth. When this is accomplished, many successful relationships can be built leading to many successful endeavors.