Nerdcation Horror Story: Star Trek the Exhibition a Dream Denied

It makes me angry again just writing this article. In summation Star Trek the Exhibition is awful. Here is one of the many ads that lied to us this is also it, this is the entire Exhibition website. Star Trek the Exhibition is a shameless scam to get money out of Trekkies while providing as little entertainment as possible. It is hosted a multiple locations across the country every year. I was foolish enough to visit the Franklin Institute in Philadelphia, PA in the summer of 2009. It clams to offer original costumes, sets, and behind the scenes information on the shows and films. Here is my story.

Let the Nerdcation begin

Definition - Nerdcation - A vacation in which the primary focus is related to nerd culture. An example would be spending 200 dollars to see Star Trek the Exhibition three states away.

Trekkies are a rare and beautiful breed and thankfully I was able to make friends with someone who shared my dream: to sit in the real Captains chair from Star Trek. Granted David wanted Kirk's and I wanted Picard, but it's the same dream and finally one place made that possible. The Franklin Institute in Philadelphia, PA was showing Star Trek the Exhibition which featured both the bridge from the original Star Trek and Star trek The Next generation. Our childhood dream would finally be fulfilled. It was NERDCATION time! What little did we know...

We rented a room at a Travelodge for the weekend and road a bus from DC to Philly. The bus was of the Chinatown breed and involved a speeding non-English speaking driver who honked even when traffic was stopped. In short, we arrived quickly. We made our way over to the Franklin Institute where we saw a massive banner with the Enterprise proudly displaying the Exhibition. We rushed inside to find the gift shop packed with toys, games, and other Star Trek junk us nerds can't get enough of. The staff was unhelpful when we purchased tickets and the map was largely incorrect when it came to the actual location of the Exhibit. Hunting for the entrance led us to the bar from Deep Space 9 next to a flight simulator and the saucer section from the film Generations with absolutely no signage. We did see generic signs of happy people enjoying the Exhibition taking pictures with personal cameras. This was two floors above where Star Trek the Exhibition was, but finally no thanks to the worthless staff of the Franklin Institute we made it inline with some overweight Klingon's and other people who stank of their mother's basement and comic back issues. We had to be in the right place. We all complained about how the advertisement said they'd have the new Star Trek on IMAX., but it wasn't there.

A Dream Denied

We were led up a winding staircase where the walls were lined with pictures and bios of various cast members, ships, weapons, and other Star Trek factoids. None of which you had the time to read because there wasn't enough room to stand with the line passing you by. The first room was amazing. I had a nerdgasim. It had props, costumes, and models with screens above them featuring cast and crew talking about the very item we were seeing. In the corner was the Kirk chair with children climbing all over it, but no bridge. That's odd the advertising said it would be here. Must be in another room, WRONG, and neither was the engine room. We opt to come back to get a picture of David in it.

Past the first room was the poorly lit and hardly awesome bridge of the Enterprise-D from Star Trek the Next Generation. The viewscreen was supposed to be showing empty space when actually it wasn't because the projector was broken or messed up because it was just grey with a few dots. One word: Ugly. I had to wait while some fat nerd yelled at the top of his lungs while pretending to be Captain Picard. Then I sat in the chair next to David and some guys took a picture only to be yelled at by a staff member with a camera who said, "No personal pictures." He then did not offer to take our picture for money he just started at us like we should have known better. We pointed the advertisements showed people with personal cameras out the sign and he walked about from us.

False Advertising

The next room was the Medical Bay and a single engineering control panel both from The Next Generation. Wait the ad said it would be the whole of engineering? Nope just another lie. A ship that Data and Picard used was also there. The next room was the end of the tour, save for the internal gift shop. It had a Dabo table, costumes from the next movie, and a bunch of other junk. We are already disappointed at this point, but this got worse as we go back through the tour again to realize only the first room had original stuff, everything else are shoddy replicas. The internal gift shop had only over priced DVDs, but not entire seasons. It also had poorly made t-shirts, and postcards. I tried to pay for the post cards, but after being ignored by the clerk for 20 minutes as he tried to fix the register I just walked out with them.

Trekkies will overcome anything for Star Trek

David has to get a picture in the Kirk chair, but last time kids were playing on it so we go back to the beginning when we hit the lackluster gift shop. I'm a Scumbag, as is David, but we both have a soft spot for children and our own childhoods. I could never deprive children of the right to spend as much damn time in the Captain's chair as they want. We arrive at the Kirk chair to see a miracle. The Kirk chair made a man in a wheelchair walk. I'm not kidding. He was an older black man who had drug his wife along. She kept saying, "He's a big kid, he's so excited." With the apologetic tone of, "I don't normally do this sort of thing." He paid no attention to her as he slowly stood and lurched into the Kirk chair. He adjusted his legs and she took the picture. I wish I had a copy of it just so you could see the look on his face. It's something he's wanted his entire life. Touching. David and I were moved. He goes back to his own chair and just as he's about to take his wife's photo a security guard exclaims, "No pictures!"

She goes on to explain, after questioning, that they do not own the exhibit so they cannot allow pictures. Even though the gift shop sells cameras and the information on the Franklin Institute shows families taking pictures of the Kirk Chair. We're pissed and now David's life long dream is in peril. I turn my flash off and get ready to try and take it then run. The old black woman taps me and says, "She walked off. Go on and take it quick." I do and we're off. The man in his wheelchair was still glowing. Trekkies are a bonded people.

The End

We left the Franklin Institute after only being there 2 hours with an entire weekend left to kill. Please do not go to this. The website for the Exhibition actually has been updated since we went and now includes a disclaimer that says not everything on the website will be at your location please contact the location for a complete listing of featured props, costumes, and sets. Tickets cost 15 each, the bus ride and hotel were 150 and I wouldn't have seen this thing for free.

Here is a video tour from a liar who claimed to enjoy it. I think you'll see what I'm talking about.