Never Settle when it Comes to Finding the Right Man (Have a Check List!)

If you are a single woman and you're ready to settle down, write down on a piece of paper what it is that you want in your mate. Put the list in your purse, carry it around with you at all times. Believe that this person does exist and when the time is right he will enter into your life. Vision his face, his eyes, his smile, the way he treats you.

I watched a little of VH1, "What Chili wants," she is the exotic beautiful young woman of the singing trio TLC. What I appreciate about Chili is even though she is single and wants to be someone's wife, she is not so desperate for a man that she is settling. Even though her standards are a little too extreme for me, she knows what she wants.

I also appreciate that with so many men being on the down low or sleeping with other men in secrecy, Chili on the first date asked the man if he was attracted to other men. Even though her date seemed a little offended because of the question, I say "Bravo" for her having the guts to ask the question. So many men, deny, lie and deny after many dates and marriage and children that this is even an issue, when it really was at the beginning of the relationship.

Chili is a successful, confident and beautiful woman with a son, so of course she wants a man that can take her on toe to toe, and who is strong confident and successful in his own skin. Personally I am rooting for the boxer Floyd Merriweather, there is obviously something there and also a healthy friendship.

I was married to a man for twelve years and I knew from the start that he loved to drink, hang out with the boys, a mama's boy and loved the ladies. But I thought that I could change him, besides my sons needed a male figure in their life. I guess I just didn't think I could do any better, so I settled, he was there and wanted to marry me. Twelve years later, his drinking had become worse, he could not hold a job and he still liked his ladies. Needless to say we are divorced, but because I did not set standards and did not believe I deserved more, I settled.

Ladies be picky about who you allow in your life, and if you have children be even more picky about who you allow into your children's life. Believe that you and your children deserve more and don't settle.

Today I am single and have been for five years and it's because I choose to be. I know who I am and what I want in life and I know what I want in a mate. I will never again settle for less. I am not a bad person and I have a lot of love and me to give to the person who deserves it. I now have my own checklist, he does not have to be rich ( but hey it makes things more fun) and he does not have to be handsome. Just have a big heart and big arms and share the same goals and interest and religion in life that I share. See I have set standards.