For some children, going to school is agonizing. The problem is not the schoolwork, but the school bullies. Bullying is certainly not a new phenomenon. For as long as there have been children or teens interacting, there has been bullying. But that was all before Columbine and the tragedy of two disgruntled students, overcome with rage, as well as having deep-seated emotional problems, allegedly believing themselves to be bullied and not part of the clique at school, picked up shotguns and rifles and went on a shooting rampage, killing 12 classmates and a teacher before killing themselves. Columbine and other school shootings that have resulted in critical injuries or deaths have put a whole new spin on the issue of bullying. The tragic school violence in the last five years has forced parents, educators, government officials, and social-service organizations to place a greater emphasis on the friendships of elementary, middle, and high school youths. The bullying that has always plagued the school years can no longer be dismissed by saying, "Kids will be kids." Now bullying is seen as the reason behind many instances of school violence because it can produce a completely inappropriate, unacceptable over-reaction from the alleged victim of the bullying. The experiences of the last few years with school violence in middle-class suburban communities has emphasized that all children, their parents, and educators have to be concerned with deviance and violence - not just in inner-city neighborhoods, where gang violence had been perceived as more likely and prevalent. If violence, the presence of weapons, drugs or illegal behavior is suspected, a parent or educator has the duty to find out more information and take the necessary action if intervention can prevent tragedies.
Unless the situation is serious enough that your child's safety, life, liberty, or health, or that of the school or community is at risk, you may want to let your child work through a friendship choice that fosters your disapproval. Friendship enables your child or teen to explore a far wider range of personalities and sensibilities than in her family of origin. Furthermore, by imposing your friendship choices on your child without a good enough reason, you are preventing your offspring from acquiring the first-hand experience of working through a relationship from its beginning and, if she decides to end it, to its ending, including how she handles the ending and how it makes her feel. If drastic measures are essential because your child or teen has befriended someone who puts him in immediate danger, you may have to take a more active role in resolving the situation. Staying involved and aware of what is going on with your children and teens, without being so over-involved that you prohibit your children from developing their own secure sense of self, is a key step in reducing the tragedies that have occurred throughout the United States in recent years, as well as in other parts of the world.
A school bully can be defined as:
- Refusal (not inability) to think rationally about themselves and others;
- Small scale Terrorist, with behavior mostly taking place during school time;
- Justifies terrorist activities towards his/her targets or victims with self psychological excuses ("I want to appear tough and in control");
- Enjoys enforcing power on others and causing extreme fear;
- Over-bearing person who tyrannizes the non-violent and physically less strong;
- To rule by intimidation, terror;
- Threatens or acts violence on others;
Calls an assault a "fight," "disagreement" or "justice."
His/her entire success at bullying is predicted upon arrogant disregard to simple decency, and a willingness to brutalize an innocent victim simply because the bully is bigger and stronger and others are afraid to intervene.
Kate Cohen-Posey, author of How to Handle Bullies, Teasers, and Other Meanies, suggests three main strategies for dealing with bullies:
1. Turning Insults into Compliments. Ignore the bully's words and pretend he has said something nice. If you can't think of anything else to say, you can always say, "Thank you."
2. Asking Questions. Bullies and pests don't really think. They ask out of habit. Questions make people think.
3. Agreeing. Bullies expect people to disagree with them. When someone agrees, they are surprised.
We must require schools to identify and deal with the pervasive and pernicious issue of bullying . Our schools/school districts are going to have to change their ways and create new procedures that prohibit all forms of bullying. The rules must include a confidential process for students to report harassment. Teachers and school staff must report suspected bullying, and there has to be a formal process for investigating those claims. The schools/school districts must be equipped to deal proactively with abating, preventing and confronting violence.
Currently, numerous states have statewide, anti-bullying laws.
Arizona has a new anti-bullying law. On April 20, 2005, Arizona's Governor, Janet Napolitano, signed HB2388 - an improved revision of HB2368 - regarding school policies; pupils; bullying - a law requiring school districts to have a written plan to prevent harassment and intimidation. It directs and requires school district governing boards to adopt, prescribe and enforce policies and procedures to prohibit pupils from harassing, intimidating and bullying other pupils on school grounds, on school property, on school buses, at school bus stops and at school sponsored events and activities.
Originally, statute allowed school teachers to send pupils to the principal's office to maintain effective discipline in the classroom. Teachers could remove students from the classroom if a pupil's behavior seriously affected the ability of the teacher to communicate effectively with students in the classroom or the ability of students to learn.
Additionally, statute provided that every public educational institution in the state must adopt, post and enforce a hazing prevention policy. The hazing prevention policy must be printed in every student handbook for distribution to parents and students. Hazing is currently defined as any intentional, knowing or reckless act committed by a student, whether individually or in concert with other persons, against another student, and in which both of the following apply: (a) The act was committed in connection with an initiation into, an affiliation with or the maintenance of membership in any organization that is affiliated with an educational institution. (b) The act contributes to a substantial risk of potential physical injury, mental harm or degradation or causes physical injury, mental harm or personal degradation.
The new provisions require that the procedures must contain the following:
- A confidential process that allows pupils to report incidents of harassment, intimidation or bullying to school officials.
- A procedure for the parents or guardians of pupils to submit written reports concerning harassment, intimidation or bullying to school officials.
- A requirement that school district employees report suspected harassment, intimidation or bullying.
- A formal process for the documentation and investigation of reported incidents of harassment, intimidation or bullying.
- A formal process for an investigation of suspected incidents of harassment, intimidation or bullying.
- Disciplinary procedures for students admitting to, or who are found guilty of, committing harassment, intimidation or bullying.
- A procedure that provides consequences for submitting false reports of harassment, intimidation or bullying.
- Adds the school district and school district employees to those groups that are immune from civil liability for the consequences of adoption and implementation of policies and procedures regarding school district governing board requirements under Section 15-341, subsection A and the discretionary powers of school district governing boards under Section 15-342, unless guilty of gross negligence or intentional misconduct.
- Makes technical and conforming changes.
This bullying law is a start. The Government's primary purpose for existence is for the protection of its innocent citizens. Remember your bully as a child.
Unless the situation is serious enough that your child's safety, life, liberty, or health, or that of the school or community is at risk, you may want to let your child work through a friendship choice that fosters your disapproval. Friendship enables your child or teen to explore a far wider range of personalities and sensibilities than in her family of origin. Furthermore, by imposing your friendship choices on your child without a good enough reason, you are preventing your offspring from acquiring the first-hand experience of working through a relationship from its beginning and, if she decides to end it, to its ending, including how she handles the ending and how it makes her feel. If drastic measures are essential because your child or teen has befriended someone who puts him in immediate danger, you may have to take a more active role in resolving the situation. Staying involved and aware of what is going on with your children and teens, without being so over-involved that you prohibit your children from developing their own secure sense of self, is a key step in reducing the tragedies that have occurred throughout the United States in recent years, as well as in other parts of the world.
A school bully can be defined as:
- Refusal (not inability) to think rationally about themselves and others;
- Small scale Terrorist, with behavior mostly taking place during school time;
- Justifies terrorist activities towards his/her targets or victims with self psychological excuses ("I want to appear tough and in control");
- Enjoys enforcing power on others and causing extreme fear;
- Over-bearing person who tyrannizes the non-violent and physically less strong;
- To rule by intimidation, terror;
- Threatens or acts violence on others;
Calls an assault a "fight," "disagreement" or "justice."
His/her entire success at bullying is predicted upon arrogant disregard to simple decency, and a willingness to brutalize an innocent victim simply because the bully is bigger and stronger and others are afraid to intervene.
Kate Cohen-Posey, author of How to Handle Bullies, Teasers, and Other Meanies, suggests three main strategies for dealing with bullies:
1. Turning Insults into Compliments. Ignore the bully's words and pretend he has said something nice. If you can't think of anything else to say, you can always say, "Thank you."
2. Asking Questions. Bullies and pests don't really think. They ask out of habit. Questions make people think.
3. Agreeing. Bullies expect people to disagree with them. When someone agrees, they are surprised.
We must require schools to identify and deal with the pervasive and pernicious issue of bullying . Our schools/school districts are going to have to change their ways and create new procedures that prohibit all forms of bullying. The rules must include a confidential process for students to report harassment. Teachers and school staff must report suspected bullying, and there has to be a formal process for investigating those claims. The schools/school districts must be equipped to deal proactively with abating, preventing and confronting violence.
Currently, numerous states have statewide, anti-bullying laws.
Arizona has a new anti-bullying law. On April 20, 2005, Arizona's Governor, Janet Napolitano, signed HB2388 - an improved revision of HB2368 - regarding school policies; pupils; bullying - a law requiring school districts to have a written plan to prevent harassment and intimidation. It directs and requires school district governing boards to adopt, prescribe and enforce policies and procedures to prohibit pupils from harassing, intimidating and bullying other pupils on school grounds, on school property, on school buses, at school bus stops and at school sponsored events and activities.
Originally, statute allowed school teachers to send pupils to the principal's office to maintain effective discipline in the classroom. Teachers could remove students from the classroom if a pupil's behavior seriously affected the ability of the teacher to communicate effectively with students in the classroom or the ability of students to learn.
Additionally, statute provided that every public educational institution in the state must adopt, post and enforce a hazing prevention policy. The hazing prevention policy must be printed in every student handbook for distribution to parents and students. Hazing is currently defined as any intentional, knowing or reckless act committed by a student, whether individually or in concert with other persons, against another student, and in which both of the following apply: (a) The act was committed in connection with an initiation into, an affiliation with or the maintenance of membership in any organization that is affiliated with an educational institution. (b) The act contributes to a substantial risk of potential physical injury, mental harm or degradation or causes physical injury, mental harm or personal degradation.
The new provisions require that the procedures must contain the following:
- A confidential process that allows pupils to report incidents of harassment, intimidation or bullying to school officials.
- A procedure for the parents or guardians of pupils to submit written reports concerning harassment, intimidation or bullying to school officials.
- A requirement that school district employees report suspected harassment, intimidation or bullying.
- A formal process for the documentation and investigation of reported incidents of harassment, intimidation or bullying.
- A formal process for an investigation of suspected incidents of harassment, intimidation or bullying.
- Disciplinary procedures for students admitting to, or who are found guilty of, committing harassment, intimidation or bullying.
- A procedure that provides consequences for submitting false reports of harassment, intimidation or bullying.
- Adds the school district and school district employees to those groups that are immune from civil liability for the consequences of adoption and implementation of policies and procedures regarding school district governing board requirements under Section 15-341, subsection A and the discretionary powers of school district governing boards under Section 15-342, unless guilty of gross negligence or intentional misconduct.
- Makes technical and conforming changes.
This bullying law is a start. The Government's primary purpose for existence is for the protection of its innocent citizens. Remember your bully as a child.
Published by M. Sottosanti
M. Sottosanti writes as a hobby and is currently working on her first book about her experiences with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder(OCD). View profile
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Currently, numerous states have statewide, anti-bullying laws.





13 Comments
Post a CommentR.I.P. Phoebe Prince. It shouldn't have gotten to that point, AND hopefully if we start legally punishing the bullies for their behaviors, like in this case, bullying will stop.
C. Mejia you are very smart for approaching the school as high as you had to go and hold them accountable. People don't pay attention unless they are made public and a reputation is at stake. Let us know how you succeed. The best of everything to you & yours.
My daughter was bullied today and has been since she started middle school at Palo Verde Middle School in Phoenix. My husband and I have tried to confront parents and go to the school to fix this issue and it seems like the school just dont take the matter seriously. So I decided to contact the superintendent of Washinghton Elementary school district and she seems to be very interested in the matter, which helps me feel a little better about the issue but it doesnt make it better. I did threaten to sue and I have a meeting with the principal and vice principal on Tuesday to see what we can do. I am very determined to make the school fix this issue. I will not give up.
After reading the comments here, I'm thinking a good question to ask the principal of any school before you enroll your child in it is, "What's your policy on bullying?" I agree with the guest, "concerned" here. Do keep documentation and proof of every incident and every confrontation you have had with the school's employees about it. Always go to the Principal with your concerns. If you have to, go to the district's President if you don't get any success at the school and remember to read the school' policies thoroughly. What they have in print might work to your advantage. It's sad to read here that the schools haven't been cooperative.
I'm hoping this is the last that was cut off. Ha!
very soon. I hate bullies and if we all do what we can to stop them, hopefully we'll put a stop to them completely. This problem has been going on for generations and generations.... Today, a lot of schools don't tolerate bullying and unfortunately your daughter's middle school isn't one of them. I think all schools should have a Zero Tolerance for bullying.
And cut off once again. Here's the end of my comment:
parent(s) present at the same time it might help. I'm thinking in a very nice way to sort of try to befriend the bullies. Lots of times those who bully are jealous of something about their victims. With the parents present, I might say to the bully, "What is it that you want? Is there something my daughter has that you want?" Of course then there's the fine line of her then getting teased and bullied because she told her father. The best solution there is to ask your daughter how she would like you to help her with this situation. Is it too late to transfer her to another school? As far as your daughter goes, think about if there are issues in her life right now that might be bringing down her self-esteem and I would suggest to enroll her in maybe karate classes, or something like that - something she would like to do that would make her feel very powerful and good about herself. Gosh, I hope this problem becomes solved for you ver
My comment was cut off. Here's the continuation:
Just yesterday I was thinking, "How DO you stop a bully?" because I am so fed up and upset with everything I hear about it on television and I see on Facebook. My first thought is to walk aways from it. If a person who is being bullied walks away from the blabber that is coming out of the mouth of the person who is doing the bullying and refuses to "take it", they will have to go find another victim who will listen to them. A lot of times bullies do it for attention. Even though they have to demand it and it is negative attention, to them it is still attention. Of course if there is physical confrontation, I would immediately call the police and press charges. Today no one is allowed to lay a finger on another person. You and I know that all it takes is just ONE other stronger person to defeat a bully. I know it wouldn't be a good idea for a parent to confront the bullies themselves without their parent there, but maybe with their paren
Wow, David. I know just how you feel. My daughter was also bullied in Middle School - but just by one girl. Switching to a middle school and the middle school years as far as age and interaction are horrible. I did go to the girl's mother and I was lucky because the mother who was first defensive then became very understanding. I still chose to start to home school my daughter for half of her last year in middle school because my mom had just died and I felt her defenses were down. When my daughter then went to our local high school she handled this girl very differently. She became the strong one and the girl who bullied her became the subservient one. It then became that SHE tried to fit in with my daughter's friends. You know kids (adults, too) who bully have other negative underlying things going on in their lives and its their way of trying to gain back the power they loose in their other situations. Unfortunately one other person, or more than one, becomes their victim. A lot of
My daughter goes to madison Meadows Middle School, and is terrorized daily. I have gone to the principal, the teachers and the parents of the children to no avail. The principal says that they cant control the kids and when called to the office they just deny it anyway, so nothing is done because its their words against my kids one voice. Im at my wits end, and feel i need to deal with bullying these kids parents to show them what it really looks like and what it can do to their parents lives.
One way that would really help with school bullying is in some cases going easy on school shooters in the courtroom instead of always saying thats "that's no excuse". If being bullied too much can somehow be made a deciding factor in wheather a school shooter(child) will be tried as a juvinile or even outright aquitted even if they kill the bully,in some cases. It will get kids and parents attention about this issue.
my son is bullied almost daily. where i get email after emial from the teacher, and i am tired of it. he never had any problems before we moved to this district. he is in second grade. some boys pee'd on a glove, in the boys restroom, and then rubbed it in my sons face, when he told the teacher, nothing was done. the next day he was caught "wrestling" and was told that the next time they would be brought to the prinicpals office. this is crazy. the school has done nothing. i do not have faith in this administration, and the child has never been punished for doing anything. i have fear in me when i drop him off at the door of this school. what am i supposed to do?