New Constitutional Amendment Passed; Americans Have the Right Not to Be Offended

In a landmark event, Congress has unanimously passed a Constitutional Amendment which has also been unanimously ratified by all 52 states. One congressman was quoted as saying, "This amendment protects such an obvious right that we could have passed it in our sleep." It well seems they may have, since no one remembers the vote.

Americans now have the Constitutionally protected right not to be offended. That is correct, ladies and gentlemen, no one is allowed to offend anyone in America. You are now free to enjoy your life, liberty and pursuit of happiness with out fear of being offended.

Capital Hill was in a state of excitement today, with lawmakers congratulating themselves left and right. A senator commented that this occasion has more importance than simply the amendment itself.

Both parties are considering this a sign that they can work together effectively to protect the interests of American citizens. Congress is predicting a time of un-precedented contentment in the country.

As yet, the details on enforcement are a little shaky. For example, Congress has yet to address how a situation will be handled when someone says something (freedom of speech) that is offensive (freedom not to be offended). "All rights guaranteed under the Constitution are equally important, and we will do our best to ensure that none is violated for the sake of another," Congress promised.

People, this hasn't really happened. It can't really happen. There is no way for it to work. In my opinion, it is time for people to grow up and accept that there is (often) a difference between someone being offensive and someone causing harm.

If you're wondering what set me off, it was two recent AC articles: Nursing in Public is Not Offensive: One Mother's Perspective by Amy Weekley and Common Phrase, "That's so Gay", Causes Courtroom Battle by Insomnia Princess.

Please don't hold these women or their articles responsible for my running off on a rant. These are both great articles which actually address valid points and I would recommend them to everyone. I, however, am somewhat of a goof, and am the only responsible for my content. You have my apologies for this torment, assuming you made it this far.