New Dad Fears

The following are five common new dad fears when a newborn arrives and what do about them.

1. Financial

A common new dad fear is the financial impact a new addition brings to the household. Depending on your situation, incomes could shrink from two to one; if mom plans on staying home, the amount of people to support increases from two to three.

Advice: According to Glade B. Curtis and Judith Schuler, coauthors of Your Pregnancy for the Father-to-Be, "whatever you do, make decisions together. It may be difficult to curb spending, but as parents, it's important to provide financial security for your child." Examine your current spending and forecast what the projected spending will look like once your newborn arrives. It may help give you a piece of mind and place things in a real perspective.

2. Lack of Sleep

Sleep deprivation will cause drowsiness at work and when you come home, you're just about out of your mind. Every new dad goes through times of tiredness and the ongoing struggles to keep focused at work. More coffee, please.

Advice: Conquer this new dad fear by working out a schedule with mom for middle of the night feedings. While baby sleeps, take a little time to sleep yourself if possible, even if it's in a lounge chair. Do household chores in and around caring for baby, but rest needs to be addressed in a managed way.

3. Changing Diapers

It's part of life - your parents did it for you so think of it as keeping the cycle of life continuing. Babies wet themselves 6 to 10 times per day on average. That's a lot of diaper changing.

Advice: For most new dads, in reality, it's the fear of never having to change diapers before. Once you get going, it will be a matter of routine. Some birthing preparation classes offer changing diaper sessions to help you become acclimated. Mom will most surely guide you, too.

4. Less Time for Activities

Video games, a round of golf, or meeting up with buddies after work may have been a routine lifestyle. Not so much when the newborn comes along. The new dad fear is that his favorite activities will go up in smoke.

Advice: For the time being at least, some of the activities that you enjoy may have to be placed on hold until you get through the adjustment process. You and mom need to work together and find a balanced routine that's best for both of you. For example, if mom takes baby to the in-laws for a couple of hours, this can be valuable time for catching up on gaming or television.

5. Less Intimacy

For new moms, it's normal to have a low libido in the subsequent weeks and months after giving birth. New moms are tired, sore, overwhelmed, or may be image conscious.

Advice: Moms generally shouldn't consider having intimate relations until after her postnatal check-up, which usually takes place about six weeks after giving birth. Until then, men have to be patient and allow mom to heal internally. Be mindful that it's prudent not to rush intimacy, and at the same time, show some positive encouragement; it helps.

For additional articles related to this topic by Chris, check out the following links:

How to Help Your Pregnant Wife

How Husbands Can Talk to Their Baby in the Womb

Sources:

http://www.babycenter.com/0_lets-talk-about-sex-after-the-baby_11802.bc?page=1

Curtis, G. B., & Schuler, J. (2009) Your Pregnancy for the Father-to-Be, Second Edition. Cambridge, MA: Da Capo Press.