New Empty Nest? Pets can Help Fill the Void

When an only child or the last child at home goes to college there is a void that a mother can never replace with anything else. However, there are ways a mother can try to occupy her time to help fill this space with something different.

My husband is not an animal lover by any means. He is a farmer and in his mind an animal serves a purpose. The look of "you can't be serious" was on his face when I told him I was getting a lap dog. The look of "you better not be serious" was on his face when I told him it was a St. Bernard and would be a housedog.

Well, needless to say, I now have Sebastian. No, he has not replaced my last child that left home to go to college, but he definitely fills some voids for me and surprisingly for my husband as well.

This giant ball of fur requires or maybe I should say demands a lot of attention. Sebastian has in his mind that we are here for him and doesn't have a clue that it could be the other way around. I wonder if this could be because our focus is on him and he knows it. If Sebastian wants a drink, he stands in the hall by the bathroom door until my husband or I go turn the tub faucet on for him. (This is easier than trying to keep a bowl full all the time.) If he wants out, we open the door. If he wants a treat, he stares me down until I give in.

The one thing we control is that he doesn't sleep on the bed. He respects this and knows this is where we draw the line. I guess he figures he will humor us with this since he seems to get his way on everything else.

Sebastian joined 4-H with my niece. They did dog obedience training and they got third place at the county fair. Now, how this happened we are unsure since Sebastian did not see the need to stand there and wait while the other dogs were performing their tasks. However, when it came time for him to do his tasks, he did perform well. I have since became a 4-H leader and enjoy the kids and dogs tremendously. Sebastian enjoys the meetings, but doesn't really understand why the little dogs don't want to play with him.

Sebastian is first to greet my husband at his truck when he gets home from work. He gets his pat on the head and then chases the cat just to show that he can if he wants to. Sebastian will get right next to my husbands chair and put his face close to his until my husband gives in and starts wrestling with him. My husband who thought animals should serve a purpose never realized this would be one of them.

When my kids come in from college Sebastian is the first to greet them as well, and they can't help but smile. He takes his huge paw and opens their bedroom door if they have it partially shut and he wants in. He doesn't see the need to be left out or shut out and just invites his self in. The kids fuss at him for this especially if they are sleeping late, but they still ask about him when they call home.

I am definitely biased, and I think anyone who can resist a 110-pound floppy eared, willing to love you at first glance four legged canine is missing a huge part in life. A chance to love and be loved unconditionally no matter whom you are, what you do or what you have done in your past. I myself have not laughed this much in a long time. Even when he is being stubborn, his personality makes me smile or laugh. Yes, Sebastian thinks we are here for him, but he doesn't have a clue how much he has given all of us. He hasn't replaced anyone; he has just created his own place in our life.