New to Homeschooling Don't Panic!

Being a homeschooling parent is exciting, rewarding, and fun. It can also be scary, demanding, and stressful. But if you make it more difficult than it has to be you run the risk of getting burned out, which isn't good for you, your child, or your family. Many homeschooling articles tell you what you can do or should do; this article tells you what you should NOT do.

Don't overplan. A school teacher with 20 students, state-mandated competencies, and an inflexible time schedule has to plan and organize every lesson, every day. You have the freedom to be flexible, spontaneous, and adventurous. You may want to make a general plan of what you hope to do over the short or long term, but you don't need to be so rigid that you tell your child to put away a fascinating science experiment because it's now time to study spelling.

Don't overspend. There are so many good educational materials out there that it's easy to feel you need just one of these and a set of those. But the cost of a resource is not necessarily related to its educational value. Start with simple, low-cost materials and use a library or loans from friends whenever possible. Suggest that relatives buy the kids fun educational items for holiday gifts. Shop at second-hand stores and used book stores. Explore all the options before spending money. Save the big expenditures for the things you really can't do without or find at a lower cost.

Don't overextend. Becoming a homeschooling parent is like taking on a full-time job. If necessary, don't hesitate to cut down on hours and energy spent on other commitments. You don't have to quit entirely, just don't try to shoulder too heavy of a load. Just because you've always been chairman of the fall bazaar, for example, doesn't mean you have to do it this year - offer to help out on one committee instead. Remind people that just because you're home all day with the kids does not mean that you're "not doing anything important."

Don't compare your family to others. Maybe your child's schooled peers have memorized the fifty states and their capitals, or maybe the homeschooling child down the street is a world-champion gymnast. Just because they're doing it doesn't mean you have to do it too. There is no single set of standards that can be used to evaluate every learner. Remember that every child, every family, every learning situation is different, and homeschooling lets you work with, honor, and enjoy those differences.

Don't sign up for everything. Don't feel that you have to take advantage of every single outside opportunity that's available for your child. If you sign up for every class, club, workshop, group, and activity that is offered you'll lose much of the flexibility, freedom, and family time that homeschooling gives you. Choose some for now, and save some for later.

Don't believe everything you hear. Maybe your neighbor tells you your child will never learn to get along with others, or your mother-in-law read that homeschoolers can't get financial aid at college. Always consider the source, motivation, and background of any horror stories or predictions of doom. If it's an issue that really does concern you, do your own research to learn the rest of the story. Chances are, you'll find much more good than bad.

Don't expect miracles. There will be an adjustment period with new homeschoolers, just as there is with any new school, job, or relationship. Don't expect everything to be perfect the first week. In fact, don't expect everything to be perfect at all. Things will get easier once you work out the wrinkles, but homeschooling is like real life, not a storybook. You may end up believing that a miracle did happen when you see the changes that take place, but it'll probably be a slow and gentle miracle, over time.

Don't try to be normal. We teach our children to withstand peer pressure and insist that "just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean that you should do it too." We need to listen to our own lesson. Homeschooling may make you different from other families you know, but remember that it's a good kind of different.

Don't reinvent the wheel. Take advantage of what others have already done, and see what kinds of materials and resources are available. You may want to modify materials to fit your child's learning style, but you don't have to start from scratch, hand drawing every worksheet and map. Check with other homeschoolers to see what resources and activities they've found, and share their knowledge and experience.

Don't panic. Your children will not be hurt by your sincere, loving efforts to help them learn at home. Wherever their futures lead, they will only be stronger and wiser, more independent and self-confident, for the extra time and attention from you.