New Mexico Finally Wins Silliest State Title!

After years of watching its best efforts always come up just a tiny bit short, the State of New Mexico has finally captured the coveted title of "Silliest State in the Union." You may take your humble correspondent's word on this one: it will be hard to outdo the "Land of Entrapment," (oops, meant to write "Enchantment"), where the state motto of Crescit Eundo can be loosely translated as "Come on vacation, leave on probation."

News Item

A recent "Letter to the Editor" of the Albuquerque Journal claimed that, since four people had died as a result of gunshot wounds in as many weeks, this is obviously proof that the federal government and the state should enact tougher gun control legislation.

The writer neglected to mention that of these four deaths by handguns, two of the deaths were the results of handguns being fired by the Albuquerque Police Department. The Department's Internal Affairs Unit says that it is "confident" that the two deaths will be ruled "justifiable use of deadly force."

(Just think what peace of mind your family will enjoy knowing there's a 50% chance that your untimely passing will be ruled a "justifiable use of deadly force.")

News Item

Faced with a budget deficit of some $400 million US pesos, the State Legislature will consider cutting at least $4 million in funding from the State Medicaid program that helps families defray the costs of caring for the Developmentally Disabled. And the logic behind this decision is ...?

According to a spokesman for the Legislative Finance Committee, since the Developmentally Disabled comprise a significant percentage of the total number of Medicaid recipients in the state it is "only fair" that they should bear a higher share of the overall budget cuts.

(Next, they'll use the same logic to cut funding for the Maximum Security Prison near Santa Fe on the grounds that since Maximum Security inmates account for such a high percentage of State Prison System ...)

And the annual "Franz Kafka is Rolling with Laughter in His Grave Award" goes to"

The New Mexico Republican Party, which proudly announced that the son of its former poster boy is now a candidate for the Republican nomination to run for the office of Governor of the Peoples' Democratic Banana Republic of New Mexico with the following press release:

"Pete V. Domenici, Jr., an Albuquerque small business owner and nationally recognized attorney specializing in environmental matters involving compliance with state and federal environmental regulations, today declared himself a Republican candidate for Governor of New Mexico."

(Q. What do you call a Republican "attorney specializing in environmental matters involving compliance with state and federal environmental regulations ...?"

A. "Dazed and Confused"

For the edification of those not familiar with the Cirque du Stupide known as New Mexico politics, Pete the Elder was the state's senior influence peddler in the US Senate since Patton was a Private until his retirement last year.)

The news release continued with

"Pete describes himself as a "common sense conservative" who believes in limited government, lower taxes, and job creation. He believes in respecting and protecting human life, traditional marriage, and private gun ownership. "

(Apparently, he doesn't think too much of private property rights. On its 10 PM newscast that same day, Albuquerque's KOAT-TV "Eye Missed It News" reported that this "common sense conservative who believes in limited government," aka "Re-Pete" Domenici, is the attorney of record representing a woman who is suing her neighbor for $10,000 because the neighbor smokes in her own backyard).

TRY TO TOP THAT, CALIFORNIA!!!