New Outbreak of the Swine Flu Discovered

The World Health Organization announced earlier today that the swine flu has moved beyond the status of pandemic to intergalactic plague. The World Health Organization also announced during its 3 hour long press conference that a new outbreak of the swine flu has infected thousands of residents of an extra terrestrial village of pig farmers and as of today any pork grown, raised and slaughtered on Earth is banned from space capsules scheduled to drop off supplies on Mars.

The CDC, Center for Disease Control, is monitoring the outbreak. "These latest cases of intergalactic swine flu have caught our attention," says Richard Besser, head of the CDC during an interview with CNN in which he was Skyped in. Besser also said during his talk with CNN that U.S. health officials have persuaded President Barack Obama to send American troops to Mars to locate the virus. Obama declined to comment saying only that former President George Bush has been called to oversee the operation and perhaps we should have called him.

TMZ took the President's advice and attempted to contact former president Bush but were unsuccessful because he was on his Ranch in Texas, hunting.

The pig farmers living on Mars don't seem to be alarmed by contracting the swine flu as none of them have landed on Earth for treatment. At this time no infected aliens have come forward to speak to the press and some believe they've secretly been kept from getting visas.

There is still very little understanding of how the citizens of Mars came into contact with the swine flu since the nature of the illness is to stay on the planet. Testing packets have been sent to the far away planet although no one is sure of the method of delivery.

CNN reporter Susan Apoorman questioned the accuracy of the World Health Organization's announcement earlier today saying, "How in the hell do you know the swine flu is on Mars? Furthermore, has the government discovered life on Mars and withheld that information from the American people?" Government officials have yet to respond.

Swine flu symptoms on Mars appear to be the same as those on Earth; coughing, sneezing, fever and body aches with one slight difference, it seems to make the skin glow green. The CDC has advised the world to avoid contact with aliens.

This article has been brought to you by the imagination of Kelly Spies and is a farce. There is no Susan Apoorman and the swine flu has been contained to Earth. If you can't tell the difference between a joke and the real thing go read some real news.