New Season 11 "Dancing With the Stars" Line-Up: No Stars, Only Has-Beens, TV 'Personalities' And Wanna-Bes

Not a huge fan of "Dancing with the Stars", after seeing the line up of 'celebrities' (and I use that term loosely) for season 11, I'll be avoiding this year's "Dancing with the Stars" like I avoid voting Republican. As America sees more dumbing down, this is reflected in the contestants on the latest season of the popular dance show.

With didn't-she-die celebrities like 76-year-old Florence Henderson (no offense but she hasn't done anything but bad TV commercials for years), face-lifted-beyond-help old guys like David Hasselhoff (stop wearing the beach gear, David, you're past it) and unwed mother Bristol Palin, (being a knocked up teen makes you famous?) it's easy to see the producers were really scraping the bottom of the barrel on this one.

If you haven't yet seen the "Dancing with the Stars" Season 11 line-up, get some popcorn and a drink, you're about to be entertained.

This dreadful line-up begins with the aforementioned Bristol Palin, daughter of the dumbest woman ever to run for political office. With the charm of a sack and the intelligence of a chicken, Bristol Palin has somehow managed to make herself a 'commodity' by doing speaking engagements about 'abstinence' that reportedly pay $30,000 a pop. Now, the latest 'celebrity' on "Dancing with the Stars", let's hope she's not as wooden as she was in last month's acting debut.

Jersey Shore's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, yep, that's really his name, is the next lucky contestant. One of the "Shore's" self-proclaimed guidos, just about the only thing The Situation has going for himself is he's got a killer bod. Other than that, his 15 minutes of fame are soon to be over. I'm guessing "Dancing with the Stars" will be the death knell.

Dirty Dancing's Jennifer Grey is next on the list and, yes, at least we know she can dance. The problem with Jennifer Grey is, since her awful nose job, it's hard to watch her as she sort of looks like herself but she doesn't - too distracting, if you should be watching the dancing.

Margaret Cho, funny girl, is one I can't complain about. She's funny, she's smart and she's a social and political activist. If Margaret Cho doesn't win "Dancing with the Stars" the show should be canceled - immediately.

Old guy David Hasselhoff really needs to move on. His days of hot body on the beach were over decades ago, yet with his pulled up face, over-lifted eyes and hair plugs, "The Hoff" obviously doesn't realize it. At almost 60, let's hope he doesn't lose his hair weave during an exuberant dance move.

Our next contestant is R&B singer Brandy, which the only thing I ever remember about her is she once had a tattoo on her back of her footballer ex-boyfriend's face that, when they broke up she had to get transformed into some sort of animal. My only question on her is, will the dance costumes cover it up?

Michael Bolton, singer and songwriter, is another of the old guys the producers signed up (with all the talent out there today, why are they choosing all these has-beens?). A decent singer in his day, Bolton is way past it and I doubt he's much of a dancer, being so stuck on himself that is.

Retired NFL footballer,Kurt Warner, (well at least this one is the right side of 40) is dance contestant number eight. He just retired from football this year and is obviously looking for something to do. Maybe all those moves on the football field will translate into great dancing? Nope? Yeah, I'm thinking that too.

The LA Lakers, Rick Fox, has been doing some of the worst guest spots on national TV ever ("Missing", "Shark", "One Tree Hill" and "Ugly Betty" to name just a few). Problem is, he doesn't last long in any of them as, just like Steven Segal, he can't act. Maybe he's finally found his calling on "Dancing with the Stars"?

Audrina Patridge, why even mention this one? She's a no-talent 'reality TV star', from 'The Hills' and, after finding she can't get work as an actress, is now in the middle of filming her next reality show "The Audrina Patridge Show". Doesn't that sound exciting?

I doubt I'd be able to watch 76-year-old Florence Henderson, even if I was watching the show. A one-hit wonder as the mother in "The Brady Bunch", Henderson's career after that has been less than stellar. A lovely woman by all accounts, I'd have to avert my eyes if watching "Dancing with the Stars" as I seriously would worry about her breaking a hip.

Our final contestant for the show's Season 11 is rapper Kyle Massey. He's a happy, chipper sort of guy, which means he might do okay on the show. He may just take it for what it is, a bit of a laugh, enjoy himself and come away without too much embarrassment and career damage. Here's hoping.

All in all, kind of tragic isn't it? Only two contestants worth rooting for (Margaret Cho and Kyle Massey) and the rest so scary or sad you'd feel depressed just watching them.

My recommendation? Give Season 11 of "Dancing with the Stars" a miss. Unless of course your dream man is "The Situation". And hey, who am I to judge.