New Spineless Creature Discovered in Hollywood

Tyler Foster
Most of us had already accepted Alec Baldwin was operating without a brain, but most of us were surprised to find out he manages to survive without a spine as well. Like most invertebrates, Baldwin is a slimy creature who frequently preys on weaker beings while slithering about during the day.

In his most recent tirade, Baldwin left a profanity-laced voicemail for his 11 year-old daughter. Near the end of the message he calls his daughter a "thoughtless, rude little pig." How nice. What could have an 11 year-old girl have done to deserve such treatment? It seems she wasn't answering his calls, which he manages to fit in between filming some mindless television show, or his next box office flop.

In the coming days people will rush to defend him by citing his strained relationship with ex-wife Kim Basinger. They will talk at length about how difficult his filming schedule is, or how tough it is to jet about the United States to appear at awards shows. He even makes time for the occasional insult aimed at our President and the country that has made him a millionaire.

Baldwin's rant to his daughter is inexcusable as far as I am concerned. No one deserves to be spoken to in such a manner, particularly not by a parent. As a father, my immediate reaction was to want to reach through the phone line and give this creep a piece of my mind (and my knuckles). I'm sure there are many others that feel the same way. Unfortunately, there are enough supporters, and enough others who don't really care one way or the other, that the ratings for his television and movie appearances will probably survive this latest embarrassment.

Why do we as Americans give so much credence to what these Hollywood morons say? It seems like every night a new story appears with someone in Hollywood upset about something President Bush has done, or the way the war is going, etc. Who do these people think they are? They read lines for a living - usually lines that someone else had to think up. They are actors. Most of them haven't had an original thought since deciding what to finger-paint in preschool. However, Americans flock to their speeches and subscribe to their ideologies without stopping to ponder what makes these guys the authority on the subject.

I hold out hope that a generation comes along in the future that unplugs these people from their lives. I hope for a generation that looks to parents, teachers, church members, and community leaders for role models. I hope for a generation that turns to books and newspapers, not television, to be educated on upcoming political campaigns. I know it won't be my generation, whose level of Hollywood idolatry is so strong that the number of people voting for the latest American Idol exceeded the number of people voting in the last presidential election. What a sad statistic.

Published by Tyler Foster

I am a 30 year old husband and father of two working in software development for money, but writing for fulfillment.  View profile

5 Comments

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  • Andrew Blachut5/14/2007

    Yes, you're right. The cult of celebrity is way out of control and showing no signs of slowing down. One problem seems to be that there is no such thing as bad publicity. People have such short attention spans that they soon dimiss the bad behaviour in their idols.The fact that many of the celebs are actors also comes in quite handy for the person in the spotlight. Apologetic, contrite, regretful.......they mastered all these emotions in acting class and they can put there own spin on their transgressions without to much spin doctoring from anyone else. But at least they appear to be increasingly held accountable by the law. It's certainly a good thing that their peers are seeing that no one is above the law regardless of salary and position. Having said that...who would ever want to be a celebrity? What a burden. Trial by media and nil privacy. Give me money and annonymity any day of the week.

  • Former New Mexican5/8/2007

    Great article and good insights. While I don't relish the idea of everyone hearing what I've said to my kids during my less-than-stellar moods, I can honestly say I've never sworn at them, and I've never called them names (other than "brat" maybe!).
    Alec is just another overpaid, ungrateful celebrity who hates to get caught with his pants down.

  • Kassidy Emmerson5/7/2007

    Love the intriguing title! Loved the article as well!

  • handlingthetruth5/2/2007

    While I apppreciate your comments, Wes, I have to say that after hearing the way Alec Baldwin spoke to his daughter I find it hard to defend him. I have never spoken that harshly to my dog, much less my kids.

  • Wes Laurie5/2/2007

    American Idol having more votes than the presidential election is a claim that is time and time again SILLY..reason being is that the vote tally for American Idol does not represent individuals for each call, a person can call in and vote an unlimited amount of times, whereas they cannot when voting for the president...so when american Idol says they got 50 million votes that does not mean 50 million people called in, it means little Sally and Bobo called in 80 times a piece to vote for Sanjaya (see also must factor in kids can vote for American Idol, but not for president)

    and then your judgments on Mr. Baldwin come from an outside perspective just like those who are idolizing celebrities, only sort of in reverse...point is we are not in his life and having been around a lot of parents and kids it is not unusual for name calling or hateful remarks to get thrown on occassion...silly to persecute him or for people to make opinion of him when they do not "know" him....

    I support a

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