New Theories About the Great Pyramids of Egypt

An Egyptophile is a person who really likes everything having to do with Egypt. An Egyptologist is a person who likes Egypt so much that he has given up any hope of a normal life so that he can spend all of his time thinking about Egypt.

According to archeologists, Egypt has been an active civilization for anywhere from 4000 to 11 billion years. One reason for so much fascination with ancient Egypt is the amazing pyramids. Many are baffled by the mystery of how the ancient people could construct such massive structures when the only piece of construction equipment they had was the underpaid laborer.* A secondary mystery is: how could the Egyptians make those intriguing pyramids and then never really do anything very interesting for the next two thousand years?

For many years, all the respected pyramidologists supported the theory that aliens from outer space built the pyramids. However, that theory was discounted in 2004 when Dr. Harold Forth, professional theory discounter, raised the objection; "If someone had the technology to travel through space they wouldn't spend their time stacking bricks in the desert."

So, here now are two of the latest theories on how the ancient Egyptians built the Great Pyramids.

The Not-As-Old-As-They-Look Theory

Professor Merv Blinkless of an institute somewhere has theorized that the pyramids were indeed built with modern construction equipment after all. Pharoahologists around the world criticized the Prof and pointed to ancient documents that showed that it was the Pharaohs of 2000 years ago who ordered the pyramids to be built. Professor Blinkless did not deny this but said that ancient contractors were experiencing a 'busy epoch' and that although they were hired to do the work long ago, the project did not actually begin until 1974. The reason no one knows this, according to Blinkless, is that modern records were shredded for tax purposes.

The Not-As-Heavy-As-They-Look Theory

The huge bricks used to build the pyramids have been estimated by some estimatologists to be about 20,000 pounds each, 30,000 pounds when wet. This has been the conundrum of the pyramids, for how could the ancients move such objects? Then in May of 2005, Dr. Shakedog Von Wolfenstraus startled the world with his theory that each brick weighed a mere 0.3 ounces. Established brickologists scoffed at Dr. Wolfenstraus until he demonstrated his theory by lifting an entire pyramid over his head and chasing the scoffers around the desert with it.