New Year's Resolution: Find Your Passion

I haven't made a list of New Year's resolutions since I was a teenager. Back then, it was a big deal for me. I would spend hours contemplating what things I wanted to work on. Then, on New Year's Eve, I would sit down and reverently compose my list. I then folded the list, tucked it away in a special spot that only I knew about, and went on my merry way.

At some point, I realized that several weeks into each new year, I had completely forgotten about the list. I was no longer seeking it out to renew my sense of purpose and steel my resolve. I think I knew I would never follow through on the resolutions, and didn't want to continue feeling like a failure.

The problem was, I was choosing resolutions that were wrong for me. They either had too broad of a scope ("I want to be a better friend"), were too ambitious ("I want to lose 30 pounds this month!"), or weren't right for my life path ("I want to be a famous actress.")

The Oprah Moment

Sometime during my formative years, I heard Oprah talking about how to find success. I don't have the exact quotation, but it was something like, "Discover what you love to do, and find a way to get paid for it." That made a powerful impression on me, and I tucked it away into the deepest reservoirs of my mind.

Along the way, that sentence became a driving philosophy of my life.

But how to find my passion? I pored out my deepest emotions in my high school writing class. I penned poems, created fictional pieces, and accomplished whatever assignment the teacher asked of me. I got high marks and was encouraged to pursue writing in some form as a career.

I entered college thinking, how do I find my passion? I got accepted to a slightly expensive, private college because my writing helped me ace the entrance essays. (It certainly wasn't because of my SAT scores. I had no idea I was supposed to study for those and went in to the exam cold.)

My writing skills helped me in every class I had, writing reports, analyzing famous pieces of literature, and defining the impact of the arts on Western Civilization.

I went into teaching thinking it was the passion I could get paid for (plus, it paid the bills.) But during my breaks from teaching, I found my mind wandering to writing. I attempted to write a humorous column, but didn't feel I had enough material from my personal life to use in my writing.

When I left teaching to start a family, I went through a very passion-less time in my life. I had always dreamed of staying home to raise my children, and enjoyed my days of caretaking. Yet, I still felt a longing I couldn't put my finger on. I still wanted to contribute to society in a larger way, and to our family's finances, but by doing what?

I attempted to write a young adult's novel, invented a concept for a girl's doll, and got close to launching a website selling teaching supplies. But where was my passion? None of those things set my heart afire, made me excited to get up in the morning, or helped me experience a true feeling of place.

About a year ago, my husband left for California for a work trip. For eleven days it was just me and the children at home. What did I find myself doing during the day when one was at school and the other napped? Writing. I sat down and wrote a humor column. I laughed every time I reread it. I was pretty good, I thought to myself. Maybe I was on to something.

The crazy part was, I hadn't found my passion. It was there all along, draping my life like a giant red flag. Now, I am pursuing my passion like Oprah said. I'm just getting started, so I have no real accomplishments yet. I don't have a newspaper publishing my columns, haven't made any real money, and don't have enough time in the day to research how to raise my website's standing in the search engines.

But I wake up early every morning with a joy and excitement I have never felt for any career. I am filled with peace, and love that I am creating something that is entirely mine alone.

This New Year's, resolve not to make a list of goals that might be unachievable and unimportant to you long-term. Instead, resolve to find your passion in life. Look for the thing that has always followed you in your trek through this life. It's probably something that has been hovering in all the corners of your life, comes easily and naturally for you, and something that people have said you were good at.

When you are ready, your passion will make a way for you to make money doing it. Just like me.