New Year's Resolutions for Tiger Woods, 2010

Tiger Woods has been all over the headlines lately, and not for good reasons. Here are Tiger's top ten resolutions he needs to try to keep for 2010 as he tries to start his marriage over with gorgeous Swedish super model Elin Nordegren

Let me pre-empt this list to say that I am a family man and very much in love with my wife and don't want to be anywhere else in life, but these New Year's resolutions will poke a little fun and humor into a serious situation. Here are Tiger Woods' ten New Years Resolutions for 2010.

10) I will learn how to spell Faglaro Island. That is where his wife just recently bought a six bedroom house. Faglaro is only accessible by boat and it's already winter in Sweden. That's bad when she wants to flee to Sweden in winter.

9) I will learn how to use a motorboat. Tiger will need a boat to see his kids on Faglaro after Nordegren's done with him. If the divorce is messy and she wins custody, Tiger will need a boat every other weekend if he wants to see his children. Hopefully, the two can patch up their marriage for the kids if nothing else.

8) If I can't use a motorboat, I guess I'll be a polar bear swimmer. Get ready to wear cold-water rubber suits. Maybe the chill will do Tiger some good.

7) I will never sign a prenup again, in fact honor my marriage instead. Tiger's alleged prenup with Nordegren is 300 million dollars. With some of his sponsors pulling out, he may not be able to pay that if his marriage is destroyed. n

6) I will not pressue my kids the way my father did. Is Tiger's story the same as Michael Jackson's who grew up before he was ready? Did his father push him to succeed so much break his character and cause him to cheat? Hopefully, Tiger isn't passing that on to his own kids and has learned his lesson.

5) I will have Dr. Phil on speed dial. Hey, Dr. Phil did okay for Britney, right? Hey, maybe he can hook me up. Oh, nevermind.

4) I will hug my kids more. They don't know why mommy and daddy are fighting all the time, and they are the innocent victims here. They deserve all the love right now no matter how much mommy hates daddy at the moment.

3) My fans are not my dating pool. I will remember the gorgeous blonde that cheers me on is hot, beautiful, sexy, and she's all mine.

2) I will beg on four knees for Elin to take me back. I know I don't deserve her, but I have to try something.

1) When I want to show women Tiger's nine iron, I will reach into my golf bag and not anywhere else.