Newborns Don't Have to Be Held to Bond with Parents

New parents often make the mistake of picking up their baby each time he or she makes that "ready to cry" face. They spend the better part of their time at home listening for the first signs of a cry in the making. That little fussy coo that erupts into a full-fledged cry sends new mothers and fathers on a race down the hall that could make Olympic runners jealous.

Newborns should be kept close to the parents at all times, but holding the baby constantly can backfire on you later. As babies make their way from newborn to infant, they often use cries as a way to get extra attention and be held constantly. Bassinettes are great for daytime use, because they can be moved from room to room, so that the parent or caregiver can be watchful, yet carry on with daily activities.

The reality is that not all cries are distress, and soon enough new parents will know the difference. In the beginning it's hard to tell, and parents just assume that a cry of any kind is a cry for help. First, rule out the obvious. Soiled diaper, hunger and gas are three of the main elements that drive small babies to cry. Watch the baby's face for tears. Tears are an indication that the baby is in need of something. If your infant is crying and there are no tears, chances are he or she is just exercising their lungs, as they often do by crying.

Allowing your baby to cry for just a few short minutes will give you some idea of what type of cry it is. If the baby is just exercising their lungs, they will stop within a short time. If the child is in need of something, the crying will get louder. Each infant has their own identity, and some cry more than others. Sometimes, it's for no apparent reason other than to be heard.

Spend as much time as you can bonding with your baby, during and between feedings, but remind yourself not to hold the baby at all times while he or she is awake. Lay a thick quilt or blanket down on the floor, and lay beside your baby talking and playing. Newborns can benefit from massages, getting the closeness from the parents he or she needs, but not relying on being held at the same time.

It's never too soon to read stories to your child, and just hearing your voice can soothe a newborn that feels as if his mother not holding him means she isn't there. Short children's stories are always good to have around, even when the baby is too small to sit up and share them with you.

Giving yourself space from time to time doesn't mean you don't love your baby. There will be times when you will want to shower or do a little house cleaning, and if your baby depends on being held a lot, those things will be difficult to get done. Experimenting with touching and play that doesn't require holding will help your baby with independence, and will allow parents to incorporate daily activities with babysitting.