Newly Discovered Lobe in Women's Brains Determines Fashion Taste

Dr. Hurwitz noted that the "receptor lobe" is presently only in women. Somehow, he said, "Evolution provided women with this lobe whereas men have an Adam's Apple." The role of the Adam's Apple remains a mystery.

The above news item explains it all. As far as it goes.

Fashion trends come and go and, somehow, my wife and daughters are always in step with the latest rule.

Young teen-age boys seem to have a bit of the instant and universal rules created just for them. Rules for young men, however, are designed to simply make them look dumb.

I have concluded that those rules are promulgated by young women and enforced the way that young women have always controlled young men, coupled with an almost irresistible wish to be considered au courant. For example, young teenage boys wear their trousers hanging well below the waist. This is a fashion statement that comes from prison inmates, forbidden to wear belts. Outside of prison, however, it just looks goofy and, therefore, serves to keep boys in their place. Similarly, the wearing of caps backwards is a confession that the wearer is a person unsure if he is coming or going.

When it comes to adult fashion, however, it is a very serious affair, indeed.

Back "in the day", my wife and I lived in a suburb of New York City. We would journey into New York to attend a show, eat dinner, shop or just wander and enjoy the sights of Fifth Avenue and its brightly and beautifully created show windows. (Note to husbands: it's always best to "window-shop" after the stores have closed for the evening. Much more romantic to sigh that, had Tiffany's been open, the bracelet would certainly been hers.)

In any event, before venturing into the City, Joan would always don a hat and gloves. Sometime in the 1960's or 1970's this fashion "rule" was repealed. I asked her recently how and exactly when the wearing of hat and gloves was no longer required. Her answer was vague; it just changed, she explained. Nonsense, whether or not Joan realized it, she had received an update to the female dress code.

These directives are received only by women. In the 1970's, I had several very fine polyester leisure suits, tan, light blue and pale green. They were work with open-necked, silky, multi-colored shirts and, in my opinion, looked rather spiffy. Whether I would wear these suits now was made irrelevant as Joan threw them all out years ago. Why? I never was instructed to discard those articles of clothing; if they fit and were not badly torn or worn, they would have remained a part of my wardrobe. Joan, however, received the Word: leisure suits of polyester are OUT.

As I have noted in an earlier article on these pages, I also had, at one time, a Nehru-jacket with a large medallion. Joan threw that out, also, together with my really great heavy sweater from high school. There are a bunch of rules with which I am not familiar. Worn out T-shirts, or those with even small holes, underwear that is more than ten years old, shirts with unidentified irremovable stains, all get tossed.

At one time, apparently, women had an unbreakable fashion rule that white was only worn between Memorial Day and Labor Day. I memorized that rule, even though it clearly applied only to women - except for white patent leather belts worn by men in the south. Then I was introduced to variations in the Rule. There is, I understand, something called, "Winter White" which is the same as Summer White but may be worn in the winter. Joan, again, does not know when this amendment to the fashion Rule was promulgated or by whom; she just knows that it is true.

The other morning on the NBC Today Show, Meredith Vieira had been called to task because, the previous day, clearly before Memorial Day, she had worn white pants. The storm that arose threatened the cosmos. A poll was conducted on the Today website as to the propriety of wearing white in March; as of the end of the show, there had been nearly 3,000 responses, 23% felt a fashion sin had been committed and 73% felt Meredith was within her rights! The fashion consultant, apparently one of the arbiters of the Fashion Authority, suggested a compromise: White could be worn before Memorial Day but after the start of Spring, but only on one-half of the body. That is, white pants were permitted but an all-white outfit was inappropriate. Just a few days ago, Ms Vieira wore a white blouse with dark pants. I commented on this to Joan. I was informed that a white top was always permitted so long as the clothes below the belt were dark.. There is likely a Freudian deeper meaning there, but I refuse to travel that journey!

I won't even get into the rules on skirt length. The last I heard, women are now permitted to wear skirts with any length they choose. It is my guess that the Fashion Authority, on whatever planet it resides, has given up. And that's probably a good idea.

I do likewise.