Newlyweds: Tips for Your First Christmas Together

Your first Christmas as a married couple can be surprisingly stressful. Unspoken expectations about family, gifts, events and even decorations can cause miscommunications and hurt feelings. Here are several things to consider discussing with your new spouse before the holidays arrive, including tips for combining family traditions, and ideas for starting new ones.

Traditions. Discuss each of your families' traditions and discuss which you'd like to keep. Compromise and combine as much as possible. Remember, there may be things each of you will need to give up. Discussing them ahead of time makes it easier to compromise. Don't wait until Christmas Eve to inform your spouse you intend to attend Midnight Mass. If you expect certain types of holiday treats to be made, don't just expect them to appear.

Extended Family. Plan ahead whose family you will visit for the holidays. What you will do when children come? Start your own nuclear family tradition, or keep traveling to grandparents? If you have Christmas celebrations at your home, who will you invite?

Decorations. You may be starting from scratch, or each of you may have some favorite decorations from childhood that you refuse to let go of. This is another area where compromise is very important. The emotional attachment you or your spouse may have to a holiday decoration may surprise you! Try not to belittle something your new spouse is attached to.

Discuss what new decorative items you will be purchasing together - what theme you want for your Christmas tree, and if you will be getting new, matching stockings or using the ones from your own homes.

Gifts. Does your family fill stockings will gifts, or are they merely for decoration? Did you have a simple Christmas growing up, or are you used to piles of presents under the tree on Christmas morning? Compromise on this generality, and keep it in mind for when you have children to buy Christmas gifts for. Be sure to list your expectations for receiving gifts from your spouse. And be honest, ladies, because your husband will take your word for it if you say all you need is him. Set an amount you will spend on each other - and stick to it.

What is expected of you to give to each of your parents and siblings? In some families exchanging cards or bringing a dish to the potluck holiday gathering is enough. In others, gifts are expected for each member of the extended family. You can't do much about your in-laws expectations other than plan ahead and get your spouses advice on Christmas gifts. Set a budget together and pick out gifts together if you can.

New Traditions. As important as it is to respect and honor the traditions each of you grew up with, it's even more important to start your own traditions together. Here are some ideas to consider.

Ornament Exchange. A popular newlywed tradition is to start your own ornament collection on your first Christmas. Each of you can pick out an ornament (pick out your own, or pick out each other's) representing something special which happened the previous year - like a first home purchase - or just a current favorite - like a sports team. Two ornaments the first year will seem silly on your tree but before you know it you'll have an entire collection of memories.

Volunteer. This is the perfect time to start a wonderful tradition of holiday giving. Without children of your own to suck up your Christmas gift budget, set some money aside to purchase items for a needy child through a program such as Sub 4 Santa or Toys for Tots. Another option is to spend time together volunteering at your local food bank or homeless shelter. Watching each other give selflessly will endear you to each other even more.

Other Ideas. Bake cookies together. Decorate them and share with the neighbors. Take a romantic walk in the snow. Hang mistletoe in your home and make it a tradition to kiss under it each morning and night.