Newspapers: Dead, You Say? Read On

In a March 1, 2010 online article the AARP Bulletin Today reported that over one-third (34 percent) of people ages 18 to 49 and 16 percent of those age 50 or older receive their news online. It further reported that 52 percent of people ages 18 to 49 and 60 percent of those 50 and older prefer television as their news source. Radio was the top choice for 22 percent of those age 50 and older and for 20 percent of those below 50.

No doubt radio, television and, more recently, the internet have siphoned readers away from newspapers. The decline in newspaper readership is largely why two- or more-paper towns are now rare or nonexistent. My city--San Antonio--is among those former two-paper towns.

For generations the city had the San Antonio Light and The San Antonio Express-News. That ended in early 1993 when the owners of the struggling San Antonio Light, the Hearst Corporation, acquired the struggling San Antonio Express-News from Rupert Murdoch Jr. The Hearst Corporation then folded the Light and made the Express-News the sole survivor of the long-standing newspaper war.

The rise of the internet has indeed hurt newspapers. However, you couldn't fault it for what happened locally since internet was not yet widely available in '93. It was in the early '90s that I would hear or read of "The Information Super Highway" in the media and wonder what the hell they were talking about.

To many people the internet is king. However, I think that newspapers still matter. If newspapers could talk they would say together, "The news of our death has been greatly exaggerated." They may be down, but they're not out. Here's why I think newspapers will survive and thrive and are still relevant.

It's quicker to pick up a newspaper than power up a computer. You can pick up a newspaper as fast as your hands, arms and legs can move. You just walk, stoop, lift and read. How hard is that?

Try taking a lap top with you into a bathroom or restroom. It doesn't work too well, does it? Also, how many people want E. coli, norovirus and Lord knows what else on their computer keyboards? Chances are when you've done your duty you'll toss the newspaper. You can't toss a computer, lest you contribute hazardous waste to your local landfill and make someone else privy to whatever you have saved on the computer.

If you should get water, coffee or any other liquid on the newspaper it's less expensive to fix or replace than a computer, television or radio. It will cost you about as much as a candy bar instead of at least a month's rent, a mortgage payment or grocery money to replace a newspaper.

When have you ever heard of anyone housebreaking a pet or lining a bird cage with a computer, TV set or radio? When Polly takes a crapper would you rather it be on your old newspapers or on your radio, TV set or computer?

Try using a radio, computer or TV set as kindling in your fireplace or barbecue grill. Doing so may pose serious health and environmental risks. Would you eat that barbecue?

When was the last time you washed a window with a radio, TV or computer? Radios, TV sets and computers are not water absorbent, and washing with them is sure to ruin them and void any warranty they have.

Newspapers, it seems, are more popular for art projects than radios, TV sets or computers. No question, for artists newspapers are easier to work with. It's better to have newspaper ink than toxic residue on your fingers and hands.

Newspapers are 100% recyclable and safer for landfills than radios, TV sets and computers. Sure, we kill trees to make newspapers. We can always plant more trees.

People often punish mischievous dogs with rolled up newspapers, never with radios, TV sets and computers. Hitting a dog with a radio, TV set or computer will hurt the dog more, but these items may sustain damage not covered by their warranties. So, you'll have a hurting in your wallet for the hurting you gave the dog.

Newspapers use no electrical power. Newspapers save energy, and you never need to remember to turn off a newspaper to keep your electric bill low.

You never need to worry about newspaper malfunctions. You'll never hear, "S----! My newspaper's frozen up!" Unlike computers newspapers never give you blank screens or slow command execution. Newspapers are more reliable.

Newspapers are immune to all malware--viruses, trojans, etc. With newspapers you never have to worry about hackers, malware and lost or destroyed files. Yes, newspapers are totally immune to the malevolent workings of sociopathic computer geeks.

You never need to worry if you leave your newspaper in some public place. You don't have to worry about someone else accessing your sensitive files or your potentially embarrassing photos, e-mail or chat messages.

You don't need to sign on to a newspaper. You don't have to remember user ID's or passwords.

Okay, newspapers don't come equipped with speakers and media players. No, you can't point your cursor and click on a button on your newspaper and hear music as you read. However, you can simply turn on your radio.