NFL Draft Preview: The Forgotten Seventh Round

We all know about Calvin Johnson. We know he can catch a football with the best of them. We've heard about LSU quarterback JaMarcus Russell and Notre Dame quarterback Brady Quinn. Yeah, they can hurl a pigskin pretty far and pretty accurately. We know the likes of Wisconsin tackle Joe Thomas and Clemson defensive end Gaines Adams. I've heard they'll do pretty well for themselves in the National Football League. The media has played up the potential first round NFL picks since the beginning of the NCAA football season, and football fans around the nation are tired of seeing the stocks of future stars rise and fall day after day. Mel Kiper and his ESPN cronies have predicted picks into the second and even third rounds, and we will undoubtedly see more coverage as draft day approaches. The NFL draft will take place on April 28th and 29th, but most American citizens will stop paying attention after the first day. What the general public does not know is that many diamonds can still be found in the rough of the seventh and final round of the draft. Tom Brady, the three-time Superbowl champion quarterback of the New England Patriots, was taken 199th overall in the seventh round of the 2000 draft. The New Orleans Saints drafted star receiver Marques Colston 252nd overall in last year's draft...and there were only 255 players selected. So what gems can NFL scouts expect to unearth in the last round of this year's draft? I've compiled a list of the top five players I think will turn heads in the pros once they are selected in the almighty seventh round.

5. OLB Hulk Hogan

Professional wrestler Brock Lesner made it to the third round of cuts when he tried out as a DT for the Minnesota Vikings two years ago. Why couldn't all-time great Hulk Hogan make it even further? So what if he's 53 years old? Gordie Howe played professional hockey into his 50's. I see no excuse why the ailing Detroit Lions can't select Hogan in the seventh round. (Assuredly he would be an improvement).

4. FS Sean Marner

Sean is an average 26-year old who lives in his mother's basement and smokes reefer all day. He sometimes even gives hits to his cat, just for fun. Free safeties don't do much but wander around anyway, and Marner has been known to get himself "lost" all the time. Sean is said to have an NFL appetite after smoking, so look for him to fit in well with the Campbell's Chunky Soup advertisement campaign. Donovan McNabb's mom would love to have him aboard with the Philadelphia Eagles.

3. OT Pat Robertson

The televangelist was quoted as saying he could leg press 2200 pounds. Thats 800 pounds more than the record at Florida State University, and Robertson is a hobbling old man! Obviously Pat has the potential to be a surefire starter at offensive tackle, and since he has that whole "God" thing on his side, I see no reason why the New Orleans Saints can't go undefeated in 2008.

2. QB Jamal Higgins

Jamal is a 62- year old janitor at Flint Central High school. He played a little ball back in his teenage years, but lord, dinosaurs were around back then. He often tells students that he could throw a football 3 miles in the air, and sometimes shows off his stellar arm when sprinkling sawdust over vomit in the school's cafeteria. Scouts are paying lots of attention to him, look for him to be a hot commodity and go to the Miami Dolphins in the seventh round. Coincidentally, the Dolphins are trying to sign double digits in quarterbacks this season.

1. QB Peter Vladinkov

Vladinkov is a little-known peanut vendor for the Los Angeles Dodgers. He can hurl a bag of peanuts from section 112 all the way up to section 136 with incredible accuracy. He can also chuck a full beer up to 8 rows of seats without spilling a drop. Pete doesn't speak fluent English, so I doubt he understands the paperwork necessary for entering the draft. But if he shows up, look for him to go the Kansas City Chiefs to compete with Damon Huard for the starting job.

Honorable Mentions: Don Imus (he needs a job anyway), Santa Claus, Sean Marner's cat "Mary-jane"

Source: nfl.com