Nice Guys Should Finish Last

The title should say it all but you, the reader, know an accompanying commentary is coming. Let me start off by stating that I do not invent the rules, I just have fun with them.

Guys that are "nice" typically (though not always - exceptions almost always exist to any rule) do not excel at much, and rarely do they ever "get the girl". That is as it should be and here is why: Mankind is a collection douche bags with a few non-jerks thrown in. So, men and women are douches (again generally) which is why it is a good thing when bad men get most of the women. It is a form of payback for crimes against the universe; you can call it revenge or justice . . . the idea is retribution. Most women are guilty of crimes against humanity (men are too), and as such a broken heart from a bad boy is not just appropriate - it is a law.

Many guys wine about women not being into them, and are always going for edgy, douche bags. Some women will readily admit they do not find "nice" guys appealing. They do not like men that faun over them or are "too available". Are you kidding me? You might as well poke bears with a stick. Any girl who has ever stated anything remotely like that deserves a jerk extraordinaire.

This principle holds true not just for romantic relationships but for almost everything as well. Most players do not value any one woman very highly which is why they get so many. Often times in life the things we want what we cannot obtain, and the good things we do have (things others would die for) we take for granted. The elusive "it" that jerks possess is not about the woman; it is all about the selfish jerk which is why he is a jerk (but remember she is one too). She wants something bigger than herself, something outside of her, essentially something not her. This is why a very attractive woman can herself be a player, and turn down many "nice" guys, but it is the fugly jerk that wins her heart then dumps her . . . A thing of beauty (I am a sadist).

Most "nice" guys are not even all that nice and as such deserve a fair amount of frustration and consternation. Besides, the biggest jerks in the world are closet jerks who come off as "nice" only to fool you later; this kind of jerk may even think of himself as one of the "nice" guys. While men who demean their women in public are jerks to be sure, they are far less so than the deceptive jerk.

To keep things on keel, bad boys have prison and kids who hate them. We all get some type of payback for our sins. This is why women routinely go for big, bad douches.