Nihilist Gum: Weird Food Oddities Review #2

Being the absurdly abrasive and hiply informative "Bionic Taffy" sometimes just doesn't help in times of depression, so usually I prefer to change back in the regular "A.F.", especially when the events that occur are really not so happy or jolly or show any feeling whatsoever. Unfortunately, this was such a product that has brought out the "A.F." in me. This was not a product I found out personally this time, having been something a friend recommended to me. Please note that there are several differences between him and me.

1. I love sweet and tasty foods/ hors d'oeuvres.
2. I've shown a very positive side on life.
3. I own fuzzy bunny slippers.

Ignore the last difference we have because the first two are the main ones that will be discussed in this review. Ever since I moved away from the horrid town of Lorain, Ohio, I found an inner peace from the city I currently live in. Everyone is so enchanting in their manners and treat everyone with decency, including me. My whole family has seemed to be much more uppity ever since, as well. My friend, who I'll just call "Harold" from here on out, was one of the first guys around here who I connected with in a light friendship, increasing to a full no-holds-barred best friendship. I have been wondering to myself why Harold and I connect so easily and I did figure it out recently. It is because Harold reminds me a little bit of my own negativity back in Lorain. I won't dig too much into his background, but let's just say that he has encountered guns as much as I have before.
As for food, I've enjoyed myself in cheesecakes and chocolate cakes and candy of all sorts (a majority of more weird yet good candy, I will get into in the near future). When I go to a restaurant, I reject the recommendation for dinner and just pursue for the whole flambe of desserts and sweets. Harold, however, recently lost his sense of taste from too many cigarettes, which is sad for a man of 27 to have. Whenever I take him out to eat now, I try to never mention the taste of foods, considering it would only hurt his feelings.
Now, surely you're asking, "What does all this have to do with your review? Seriously, you're making us all depressed without even explaining what the product IS!". Well, surely you all know what "nihilism" is. In short:

"LIFE SUCKS AND DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING."

Seriously, those are the bare essentials that you need. Now, supposing that someone made a chewing gum product called "Nihilist", what do you think this suggests about these two? No, not nothing, but you're close. No flavor. That's right. Not a teeny-weeny bit of sensational feeling from your tongue is registered into your nervous system to tell you the flavor. There is an EXTREMELY small bit of sweetness to them, but not enough to actually enjoy them. The cover even states "We don't believe in flavor", accompanied by a black background with white letters reading "NIHILIST". Having tried both, what is my thought on these completely pointless and useless bits of not-tasty candy?
Well, what do you expect? There's no taste, no flavor, no nothing! They serve as nothing else but to let people chew gum without anything accompanying your saliva. Having learned from Willy Wonka and Violet Beauregarde, gum chewing has been a bad habit in the first place. As much as chewing gum is seen as a life-saver to those who are bored and like a little flavor in their life, it actually doesn't help your mouth at all, nor does it help the idea of chewing all day long. Seriously, it actually makes sense for there to be a "Nihilist" gum when gum is in fact constantly chewed for on and on and on and on and....see? I was about to go into an extremely long mantra with no knowing of an end and going into a constancy of sadness and depression.
Knowing now of the Nihlist gum, and seeing how it actually has no worth, can I really recommend this to you fellow readers? The answer is...yes, if you're into things with no value or need whatsoever. Life is just as pointless and boring for you, so why not add onto that with even MORE nothing?! As for the rest of us who are not so downtrodden and dim, it's interesting that Nihilist gum is as devoid and flavorless, pretty much becoming the original created gum before flavors were ever added to it. Pointless and irrelevant, for the majority of those who still carry hope and dreams throughout their life, I do not recommend Nihilist gum unless you want to try the most basic form of gum conceived, chewing gum that is simply gum. This is "A.F." signing off, but don't worry. Your wonderful master of mishaps, Bionic Taffy, will return on the next review. Hint: Next time, we're going to get into some REALLY gross candy involving acne. That's all I'm going to say on that.